letters-archive.sql

BEGIN TRANSACTION;
CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS "god_letters" (
	"id"	integer NOT NULL PRIMARY KEY AUTOINCREMENT,
	"date"	datetime DEFAULT (strftime('%s','now')),
	"title"	varchar(255),
	"body"	TEXT
);
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (1,1032843600,'Saradomin Speaks','<a href="/images/saradomin.png"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/saradomin.png" /></a>

**Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin has finally resumed communication with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Runescape''s affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.**


Greetings my young adventurers, and a warm welcome to all of you. As I look down upon the world that I created, I feel a strong sense of joy that it is now home to so many men and women of curious minds and adventurous spirits. I am also saddened to see that it is prey to so much death and destruction, and I can only assume that my brother Zamorak enjoys a large following on this small planet. Perhaps in time these mortals will learn of ways to co-exist harmoniously with their fellow humans. But for now I am sure that they will continue to hack each others heads off with large metal implements.

But it is often said that the tongue can be sharper than the blade, and this might explain the latest development from the secular powers that be. Although their wisdom may be less than infinite, there can be no doubt that the council has performed a small miracle in their creation of the snapshot- the latest way to report abuse. This pleases me greatly, for slander is the point when pride and stupidity converge. When a human disrespects another life, he disrespects his own.

<a href="/images/book-candle.png"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/book-candle.png" align="left" /></a>
It all became too much for the mage known as Andrew, whose ability to manipulate time means that these foul-mouthed roughians can now be caught red-handed by snapshot- even after they have perpetrated their crime. The alchemy of reversal is then performed, with said mage adding injury to insulter.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

<a href="/images/runestone.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/runestone.jpg" align="right" /></a>
Having abused the gift of speech, those brash youths are rewarded by having their tongue removed, a practise still favoured by the Mehkmets of Al Kharid. Those who truly revel in their idiocy may even find that they are excommunicated from Runescape altogether. At this point in time it would seem that 439 such wayward fellows have already been permanently banned from our great land, with another 995 receiving a blackmark against their name.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

I of course know that snapshot has proved popular with you young adventurers. Indeed, some have been falling over themselves to report abuse from their fellow humans, often indirectly reporting themselves in the process! Weakened by their own runestones, you might say. So in the ongoing war against malice, let us not ourselves malicious be. After all, any warrior who hopes to conquer great foes must first be a creature of great courage, and possibly not the sort of person who would be offended by the word ''noob''...

And so onto your own hopes and prayers. It seems many of you yearn for the creation of a four-legged riding creature, commonly referred to as a horse. In my all encompassing benevolence I would say that this is not necessarily such a bad idea. But alas I have divined that horses would be less than happy about living on Runescape. Her rocky terrain and dried-out soil would not provide adequate footing for an animal that must support the weight of a human on its back. Maybe one day the evolutionary conditions could change, but don''t start getting excited - Runescape wasn''t built in a day you know...

Equally popular is the desire for a mine which contains anvils and a furnace. "Why can''t you have a mine with anvils and a furnace?" you cry, "then each adventurer could advance their levels really easily." The answer of course is simple. If you had a mine with anvils and a furnace, then each adventurer could advance their levels really easily. Come on now you slothful creatures. First you want an animal to cart you around on its back, and then you want an infinite supply of superior weaponry!

You must know that a hero''s status is not chosen or acquired; it is carved into the sheer rock face of hard graft and toil!

And on that note I must return to my other creations. Just remember that hard work is always its own reward. And you get to cast some pretty good spells as well.

Strength through wisdom

Saradomin

*These might be suggestions for Runescape - although the gods do tend to be quite touchy about the evolutionary process. You might like to send questions relating to the history of the game, or queries about the many characters and races that inhabit Runescape. The best letters will be published in the email newsletter. Please note that despite their omnipotence, the gods of Runescape do not concern themselves with customer support.*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (2,1034139600,'The People Rejoice','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Saradomin Responds.</h2>

<a href="/images/saradomin.png"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/saradomin.png" align="left" /></a>
**Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin now regularly communicates with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Runescape''s affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

Firstly, I must say that I was touched by the level of response to my first letter. Truly I say that Runescape is home to such a myriad of peoples, including some that now transcend the more traditional etiquette of grammar and punctuation. But above all I was struck by the sincerity of your words- it is a great thing indeed to live with such a strong sense of hope.

I have received a huge number of messages, so I alas cannot reply to every single one here. But how pleased Saradomin was to hear from men and women with such strong, seeking minds!

One fellow writes:

> Firstly, and, methinks, my best idea, is to make daggers throwable. The advantage? A dagger packs more punch than an arrow (conceivably) and one would not find it necessary to carry a bow. This would also provide an actual use for daggers, whereas before they were the weapon of a noob or someone driven quite insane on the apothecary''s latest experiment. Those who fancy themselves the dashing thief would be quite glad to be able to wield daggers, the thief''s weapon of lore. The better the dagger (bronze as opposed to rune) the more damage it would do.

*Corande, AKA Justin.*

<a href="/images/dwarf.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/dwarf.jpg" align="right" /></a>
An interesting idea, a dagger that can be thrown- something that you would only do, I presume, in order to defend yourself. I can confirm that plans are now afoot to give knives the gift of flight, and that this action will be part of the ranged skill series. Unlucky recipients of said knives will then find their health to be substantially lessened. These weapons will not, however, be stackable, so sadists will have to find other ways to satiate their Zamorockian urges.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

I was, of course, gratified to learn that so many of you are indeed committed to the hard graft and toil that I spoke of last time. Or as one adventurer puts it:

<blockquote class="rsc-centre-text">Oh great and powerful Saradomin. I beg of thee. Please grant me an Idiot Repelling Amulet so that I can work in peace and not be bugged for hours by children who covet what I have worked so hard to achieve. Why must I repeatedly state that I am not selling some piece of armor or weapon over and over again?</blockquote>

*Your Humble Servant,*

*Jerichoholic.*

Others were motivated by a desire for justice, fervently demanding that certain secular decisions be overturned at once. Rather than engaging with those who would seek to Support their Custom, it would seem that the sheer passion of these individuals got the better of them... so they pestered me instead. But Runescape does have a process of evolution, and I am sure that it will be reaching them soon.

But if you need customer support, please use the customer support forms! And so back to business.

<blockquote class="rsc-centre-text">My Lord, long have I worshipped your greatness. I wander the lands preaching your wisdom to the masses, hoping to enlight even one mind. "Bury your bones", I proclaim to the huddled masses. "Saradomin is with you" I announce to any great warriors I see. Day and night I strive to raise my prayer level, hoping, it will will bring me closer to your all encompassing light. It is the purpose that drives me, it is the will that binds me, it is my reason for being on this world (Runescape). And so I ask you, might you create another quest that raises prayer? Much would be the rejoicing if this came to be.</blockquote>

*Your loyal servant, tom505*

<p class="rsc-centre-text">Now certain members of the council are seeking out new ways to level your prayer skill. Perhaps by way of a quest. Not that I would ever intervene directly into the affairs of RuneScape of course...</p>

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a class="rsc-image" href="/images/temple.jpg"><img src="/images/temple.jpg" /></a></p>

Another adventurer complained of tiredness from too much standing.

> Greetings oh Mighty One... Whilst one understands that questioning the way in which You (in your infinite wisdom) have created Runescape is liable to cause offence and thus painful injury to the interrogator - the ache in one''s legs is such that the question can no longer be withheld. In essence - your servant has been whacking the living daylights out of monsters, picking flax ''til her fingers bleed, pounding rocks and baking like there is no tomorrow, for day upon endless day and now finds herself exhausted, with varicose veins and blisters. Oh for the blessed relief of a nice little sit down with one of brother Galahad''s cups of tea, or ...miracle of miracles...a sleep! Those tempting looking beds with their \*nice blankets\* ..those \*sturdy looking chairs\*. One wonders why You created these taunting items of furniture when Your subjects cannot use them? One is sure there must be a perfectly good reason but not being a mighty god such as yourself (grovel) one cannot think of it.

> Strength through wisdom? Strength through taking the weight of these ankles more like!

<em class="rsc-centre-text">Lise</em>

> P.S. If one must be turned into an imp for this impertinence please let it not be on Karamja - walking on hot laval rock would play havoc with my bunions...

Now as the god of all things good, there are some matters which simply demand my full and undivided attention. This was not one such matter. But you did arouse my sympathies- even the gods feel weary sometimes you know.

But the question on nearly everyone''s lips was when that of when our world would enter a new dimension. Gazing across to the mage Andrew - for we are not one and the same- I see that three-dimensional landscapes are now under construction. There is still much work to be done of course. When you seek to change the world, you take on every blade of grass. Carpentry has for this reason been postponed until after the updates.

This will doubtless prove disappointing to some, but then even the gods can''t please everyone. In the words of one adventurer:

> "I got told by a friend the Runescape graphics are going to turn into really good graphics... if this is true, don''t do it, as it would wreck the game."

Oh how I laughed. Even the Andrew was said to have managed a smile- which is no mean feat I can tell you.

All in all I can see that these are happy times for the people of Runescape. The perpetrators of deceit are being hounded out, with over 60 scam sites being taken down in the last week. The new combat level display has proved popular amongst merchant types, with traders now having to try really hard to get ripped off. Perhaps my presence has tipped the balance of power away from all those who would promote evil.

Or maybe it''s just been a good week. Until next time my friends.

Strength through wisdom
Saradomin

*These might be suggestions for Runescape - although the gods do tend to be quite touchy about the evolutionary process. You might like to send questions relating to the history of the game, or queries about the many characters and races that inhabit Runescape. The best letters will be published in the email newsletter. Please note that despite their omnipotence, the gods of Runescape do not concern themselves with customer support.*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (3,1034917200,'Episode Three: A New Bone','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Saradomin Responds.</h2>

<a href="/images/saradomin.png"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/saradomin.png" align="left" /></a>
**Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin now regularly communicates with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Runescape''s affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

A warm welcome to one and all,

And so it is that time again when I respond to your many questions regarding this wonderful land of ours. The good god of Runescape has been feeling a bit under the weather this week, so I''ll cut to the chase.

> Greetings great Saradomin. I am a great worshipper amongst you. You have made this world beautiful and as great as can be. However, there are many people that do not follow your religion. This is due to the large lack of people who bury bones. The world of Runescape needs a new bone, that will draw them ever closer to your spirituality. The solution to this, is dragon bones. As you know, dragons are the most grand of all foes in Runescape. Few warriors are able to slay these beasts of almighty power. But those who do should be especially awarded with dragon bones. With dragon bones your number of worshippers will increase beyond believe! And the evil powers of your brother Zamorak shall not stand a chance against the holy spiritual powers on the plane of Runescape. Please Saradomin, the fate of Runescape can not fall into Zamorak''s hands.

*Kormyr*

Hmm... Zamorak''s not that bad you know - actually he''s worse! But he is still my brother, even if he can''t be bothered to keep in touch these days. I do agree about the bones though. This was a popular request, and I can tell you that they should be available within the next week! So consider your prayers answered, and get on down to your nearest dragon.

> Dear Saradomin,
>
> After hitting big bars of metal all day with my trusty hammer, i suddenly thought: "I wish i could wack someone over the head with this". Then an idea came to me. Why not create mighty war-hammers to blight thy enemies with. Higher power than axes and even less aim....wow. The different metals could all be used to make them and I think they would be a welcome new weapon to all us rune -scapers out there on the battlefields. Your faithfull warrior,

<em class="rsc-centre-text">Nosvartu</em>

<a href="/images/warhammer.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/warhammer.jpg" align="right" /></a>
Well it''s good to see such enthusiasm for one''s work. But I''m afraid that your desires are not aligned with the greater scheme of things- we''re trying to expand people into 3D, whilst you''re trying to flatten them out! But certainly you have been successful in lodging your words into my brain, so maybe in the far distant future...

And so onto that most controversial of subjects - money. It appears that begging is still something of a problem in the world of Runescape, with many a hard-working player still being plagued by requests for free stuff. Fortunately there are a few truly civic minded young persons who believe in the concept of paying people for all their hard-work.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> The people of Runescape have been aquiring a lot of wealth while the good bankers of Runescape keep our belongings safely stored in their vaults and never asked anything in return.

> Isn''t it time we citizens do something back and pay some interest on what we keep in our banks?

*Dalen-Van.Andre*

<a href="/images/skull-coin.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/skull-coin.jpg" align="left" /></a>
I am happy to say that those who tend the banks are in fact paid by the state, that most generous of organisations which so nobly provides for the welfare of so many institutions.

But Mr.Dalen-Van, I nonetheless salute you in your desire to reward those people who work so hard for the benefit of others. How horrified you would be to learn of some more advanced beggars, who would seem to want the whole world for nothing...

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> "Why can''t you make all runescape for everybody for free, those member signs are very annoying please make every thing free."

*Voldemort 45*

One individual even asked me how it feels to be "the first god that requires money to sustain your world." This confused me somewhat, as to my knowledge, Runescape is one of the largest free-worlds of its'' kind, with at least one hundred hours of free quests and things to do.

I''ve received a few notes from Runescapers who "feel left out" of the members game and wish they could access the new features. The answer to is of course... ..become a member! To quote a certain fellow from the Council of Runescape...

> We currently need to concentrate on continued development for the membership servers as membership subscriptions pays for all support services (for free players as well), the running costs of all the machines(including free servers), staff wages (who help support free servers) and the development costs of new quests, skills and future technology.
>
> Please remember that the game was free for over a year before membership was even suggested. The fact that we''re keeping so many free servers online now is a testament to the goodwill Jagex has towards the many thousands of free RuneScape players. The US\$5 monthly membership price is very reasonable considering how much entertainment you''re getting. A cinema visit would give, at most, 2-3 hours of entertainment - RuneScape offers so much more than that!
>
> Why not consider becoming a member and help support the continued development of the game?

I couldn''t have put it better myself.

But you cannot put a price on compassion, and so I am by no means deaf to your cries...

> Greetings, As one of those many residents of your realm living in poverty, I often find myself wondering: Will these new graphics be available for even the poorest of RuneScape citizens? And what if the citizen is using a rustic system to run RuneScape on? What affect will these new and grand updates have upon us misfortunates? Your friend and follower,

*Sir Justin*

And I am happy to announce that the answer is an emphatic yes! Non-members will certainly be going 3-D, and what''s more, there won''t be any increased lag as a result. So let''s give three cheers to the mage Andrew - living proof that the best things in life are indeed free. Which reminds me...

> In all candor, I ask that thy might bringith a place for the learned; a library. This would prove useful for those of which wish to aquire great knowledge in the history of our great land. Perhaps if we were literate... we could forge our own tomes, portraying the history for thine self. Sending Blessings,

*Maro*

What a splendid idea. I know a building in Varrock that hasn''t seen a lot of action for a while. I''ll have a word with the council, I''m sure that they would be prepared to convert it- such is their commitment to public institutions.

Of course all we need now are some books. Histories, stories, even tales of elves; all these exist but they have been scattered somewhat in the chaos of the last age or so. So if anyone should stumble upon any of these, please feel free to pass them onto me.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/knight-chalice.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/knight-chalice.jpg" /></a></p>

Well, what a generous week it''s been. I feel better now. Perhaps we should finish on a poem.

> The Runescape World Made Of Might,
> Made Of Hard-Workers, Made To Fight.
> To Fight The Black Hearts Of Those Who Rebel,
> To Send Good To god, And Evil To Hell.
> To Interact With Our Fellow Human Beings,
> To Slay The Demons, And Regroup In Team''s.
> Hard Work Pay''s Off, In Coins And In Armour,
> Work As A Miner, Smither Or Farmer.
> But One Bit Of Advice, From Member To Member,
> Keep Your Friend''s Close...But Your Enemy''s Closer.

*Elite James*

Sound advice indeed. Until next time, my literary friends!

Strength through wisdom
Saradomin
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (4,1035522000,'The All-powerful Jellyfish','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Saradomin Responds.</h2>

<a href="/images/saradomin.png"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/saradomin.png" align="left" /></a>
**Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin now regularly communicates with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Runescape''s affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

<a href="/images/magic-staff.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/magic-staff.jpg" align="right" /></a>

<blockquote class="rsc-centre-text">Please Saradomin hear my call.</blockquote>

> Oh omniscient and powerful Saradomin hear my cry. Your world called Runescape is based on the magical runes. But yet a mage of level 99 can still be beaten by the ones we call "pures". My damage never exceeds 10 for a magical hit and I have heard of a magic guild with new runes in it that will soon be made. Higher level "defense zappers" and such I think will not help the mages battles with the pures.

Oh, how so many of you young mages have begged for a magic guild. I was tempted to let you just conjure one up yourself, but then I thought better of it. So those adventurers who toil on a daily basis will know that a magic guild now exists in the town of Yanille. There you can buy a kind of rune that so-called "pures" could only dream about.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Dear Saradomin,

> I know there are a good amount of people who might know this question but I thought I might as well ask. I would like to know what the world of runescape was like when it was first created.

*Nick Petit*

Ah, a historian I see. Well I almost don''t know where to begin. Which is what I said at the time, in fact. But of course it all started with Lumbridge, and the good kingdom of Misthalin. But there was no Al Kharid or Draynor village, and Edgeville was pretty deserted, so people called it Ghost Town.

The world back then was a comparatively good place. People didn''t tend to wander around Lumbridge calling each other "noob", because everybody was one. Black knights were the toughest monsters, of which there were three.

The top equipment you could get was adamantite legs, mithril body,adamantite large helmet, adamantite long sword, and iron kite shield. There were no amulets.

Adventurers could, however, sink their teeth into six different quests: the Cook''s Assistant, the Restless Ghost, Demon Slayer, Shield of Arrav, Romeo and Juliet and Sheep Shearer.

The main skills were combat, ranged, mining and smithing. Cooking consisted only of cooking meat and bread making. Of course, families have always been divided over the issue of vegetables, and this was literally the case now, with many a warrior dropping dead from scurvy.

Mourning partners were in time told that there were plenty more fish in the sea, but this was of little consolation, as no-one knew how to fish yet. There was also no crafting, and Lumbridge''s traditional Sunday afternoon craft fairs were a bit of a let down as a result.

> Saradomin,
>
> I believe the world of Runescape would be much better if you added music. You should also have bards to play music as an attack, that would be cool.

*Rin Dragon.*

Music as an attack? It really would have to be offensively bad. But as for music in the game, that certainly will be coming. For some time now, a great man-minstrel by the name of Ian has been mincing away, to create great scores of majestic sounds that will one day delight your ears.

<a href="/images/pumpkin.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/pumpkin.jpg" align="left" /></a>

> Mighty Saradomin,
>
> As I gaze around your beautiful world these days I notice that more and more people are wearing the robes of Zamorak, your dastardly brother. How am I a loyal Saradomin follower meant to show my loyalty to you without a set of robes? Please can you try to introduce robes of Saradomin for all your followers out there.

<em class="rsc-centre-text">Your faithful worshipper, Eales88</em>

<div style="clear:both"></div>

Behold, such robes exist for all to see! Take yourself to the monastery and speak to the good Abbott Langley who works there. And if you are of sufficient prayer level he will endow you with this most stylish of artefacts. Just don''t let him talk you into a haircut.
And for those of you who have asked about a "prayer guild", know that you can also pray at their special altar, and have your holy symbols blessed.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/monk.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/monk.jpg" /></a></p>

Guild indeed! What are you- god''s representative on earth, or some lowly carpenter?

> Is it possible to let characters have their own houses? If so, please provide it with locks.

*Artes999*

Why, what are you planning to do in there? Nothing untoward I hope. Yes, houses will be added to Runescape eventually, but don''t start choosing the curtains just yet.

> I think iron ores should be 100% success or at least more than 50% once I only got 4 iron bars out of 17 iron ores I went mental and smashed my TV to bits. This time I''m not taking Jagex responsible, but next time I might just change my mind.

*Anon*

Frustrated, he seems. I can''t wait until he attempts the Biohazard Quest.

> Dear Wise One,
>
> Twice in my travels, I have encountered a strange warrior who seemed very knowledgeable in this world. The warrior''s name was "Paul" and seemed to be very important. The first meeting of him and I was in south west chapel near Port Sarim. I saw a man dressed in robes supposedly performing the vows of marriage for two people. The second time I witnessed this person was near the Desert at Easter. At this time I said a friendly greeting to him and he responded with a similar greeting, and then disappeared, leaving many Easter Eggs that my travelling partner immediately picked up. Who is this mysterious person and why are they so elusive?

*Petros*

Yes, the Paul that you speak of is a strange one indeed, who has been known to float around Runescape like some sort of all-powerful jellyfish, squeezing out offerings at certain special times of year. Some of you have even wondered if there might be another deployment of goodies in the near future. I couldn''t possibly comment on this of course...

Until next time my friends.

Strength through wisdom,

Saradomin

*These might be suggestions for Runescape - although the gods do tend to be quite touchy about the evolutionary process. You might like to send questions relating to the history of the game, or queries about the many characters and races that inhabit Runescape. The best letters will be published in the email newsletter.*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (5,1036130400,'Moody monsters','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Saradomin Responds.</h2>

<a href="/images/saradomin.png"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/saradomin.png" align="left" /></a>
**Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin now regularly communicates with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Runescape''s affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Dear Saradomin,
>
> The new aggresiveness of monsters is a pain!!! I simply try to mine and they kill me!!!! I once had a pick and a hammer and a mithril bar and the dwarves would not leave me alone and they killed me!!! Now I have nothing. Could you perhaps make the dwarves less aggresive? I think you should, but as a humble human I have no input....''sigh''.

*Rockerest3*

Make dwarves less aggressive? Whatever next? That''s like asking humans to stop complaining all the time. Anyway, dwarves just wouldn''t be dwarves if they weren''t huffing and snorting and shoving axes in your face. However, Andrew has just admitted to accidentally tampering with their water supply, which may have made them particularly frisky of late. The plumbers have now been called.

> Dear Saradomin,
> What has Runescape come to?! As I take me morning walk through your Kingdom what do I always see? I always see people standing in one spot may it be training, mining or fishing and logging in and out. Obviously they are using a cheat, macro, or autominer which is clearly against the rules of Runescape. It is not fair on all of us fair players who gain our XP fairly! I know you have come up with that monster thing to stop some cheaters but it does not stop the mining and fishing ones! I think that The Team should come up with a way to stop these cheaters once and for all!

<em class="rsc-centre-text"> From your follower, Xterm2</em>

<a href="/images/miner-animation.gif"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/miner-animation.gif" align="right" /></a>
Yes, everyone is tired of the cheaters that you speak of. As such we are changing mining and fishing shortly so that they no longer consist of hours of tedious repetative clicking. They will be made more fun, and harder to cheat. The rocks will be much easier to mine, but you will need to rest or eat food occasionally whilst mining.

The upshot of this is that honest miners should be able to mine ore slightly quicker, whilst the cheats will just have to go somewhere else.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> To Saradomin,
>
> I have recently stepped into a new area, and saw a strange man selling fancy dress. However, I was shocked to see that he was selling a red party hat! Myself, and many other runescape players believe that the rare items such as hats, crackers, easter eggs, disc of returning, pumpkins etc are great things to own, and show a great symbol of wealth. However, it seems these are deliberatly being "spoilt" for us. Can you tell us what the future holds for such items, and if their status of wealth shall be destroyed?

*Icedrop*

Yes, there has been a lot of interest in the fancy dress shop and its red party hat. And if the shop-keeper was actually able to get some in stock, I''m sure there would even more. It seems that he has been advertising these hats as some kind of cheap marketing ploy, to get adventurers salivating in anticipation. It obviously worked...

> Dear Saradomin,
>
> Recently i have been seeing hundreds of people wearing ''Priest Robes''. People are trying to sell them for ridiculous prices and when I ask where you get them they don''t answer. Where can I find these robes? Are they some robes that have leaked out of members? Or are they just a figment of my imagination? Good day.

*Psychopriest*

No, you''re not imagining it- they really do exist. You can find them in south Varrock as part of the Biohazard Quest.

<a href="/images/archer.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/archer.jpg" align="left" /></a>
>  O Mighty Sage,
>
> Throughout the ages, archery has been the noblest of skills. The merging of bow and arrow in a coordinated effort to hit a target is a beautiful sight to see.
> My concern is towards the attitudes of the other citizens (especially the more youthful and vulgar ones) who do not receive the archer so willingly. Archery and magic are the two major skills where a citizen can join into an established conflict, and perhaps even come away as the ultimate victor. Rather than investigate this ability and elevate their ranging skills, the non-archers curse and attempt to banish the archers. Granted, there are episodes where archers take advantage and at times antagonize the non-archers (although many of them deserve it), but it becomes a negative experience.

> What can be done to both elevate the ranging skill and help the non-archers to understand?

*Bopperland1*

<div style="clear:both"></div>

As a god of peace, I am a firm believer in the value of constructive dialogue. So please allow me to defer to a more contrary voice on the matter.

> Greetings Saradomin,
>
> My suggestion concerns archers. It is great that we can use bows and arrows as alternatives to getting our hands dirty in melee combat, but I really cannot stand it when I am fighting with my trusty dragon axe and an archer comes along and steals some of my experience, shooting the monster I am fighting. It is rude, and the same goes for somebody starting a fight with a monster that is already getting ranged. Could you perhaps make it so that a monster cannot be attacked at all once it has already been attacked?

*Mightyankh*

Hmm, seems like we''ve got a bit of an impasse here. Looks like you''re just going to have to learn how to get along. A prayer to prevent others from interfering with your combat is however planned at some point in the distant future.

> Saradomin,

> I have been a loyal and grateful worshipper of you for almost a year and a half. I joined the members not only to receive greater enjoyment but also to see the world improve in many different ways. But as the game gets increasingly more popular the servers become more and more crowded.

> I believe it''s time the members received a new server. The free players have 3 times more than the paying members. I know there are more players in the free world but is it not time to give the loyal members a server to spread the numbers over?

*Bladzer*

Your cry is a worthy one indeed, and low I am happy to say that worlds 11 and 12 have now opened up. 11 will operate as a members server, and 12 will be for non-members.

> Dear Saradomin,
> When I was just starting out on Runescape the black hole was very popular. When I went to go try it out it wasn''t there. I want to ask you why the black hole was taken out of the land of Runescape,and will it ever be back?

*Adikt*

Well there are lots of theories about black holes, with some professors claiming that they represent the origins of evolution itself. But when you''re a god you don''t like to harp on about the whole evolution thing too much.

In scientific terms, black holes represented the world''s first sin bin, banishing miscreants for all eternity.Or at least for some of it. The only problem was, the black hole developed such a reputation that warriors were going out of their way to be plunged into its eternal void. Those who had sworn blind to be upright individuals now just swore blindly. Anything to get thrown into the black hole.

Only later did was it discovered that this was the work of Zamorock, cleverly designed in order to glamorise evil deeds. From then on the council just banned people instead, and with no more matter to envelop, the black hole turned in on itself and imploded.

> Dear Saradomin,
> The world of Runescape is indeed evolving fast. There is more to be found now than there was a year ago. And with it, prices of newly introduced items are immensly high. All these coins are piling up in bank accounts and trades are getting really long. Would it not be a joy to have value-paper? This would make trades a lot shorter. A proposal: 1 piece of value-paper is worth 10,000 gold coins.

*Your humble follower, Highveener*

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/money-certificate.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/money-certificate.jpg" /></a></p>

Yes, this does seem like a good idea. I understand that the powers that be will be implementing some kind of bank note system in the not too distant future. Your fiscal problems will soon be over!

> If anyone should want to pay to play Runescape, I believe that they should only have to pay $5 in their own currency. Such as in Australia, we have to pay $10 Australian, which is about the same as $5 American. Why should we have to pay more to have the same rights as everyone in America? It''s the same as making someone do something to get into a club when no-one else did. Why? Please make it fair on us soon, I hope you can even this out.
>
> Goodbye and ja bless,

*Celoril*

Perhaps I spoke to soon before. Even the greatest system of money is only as wise as the people who use it. But as far as fairness is concerned, I can tell you that $10 Australian is about the same as $5 American.

> Saradomin,
>
> A couple of years ago, I was a newbie under the screen name FF9Gamr and I got ripped off right when I started (you probably knew since you are the god of RuneScape). I started a file named IRipYouOff because I thought nobody would ever try to rip me off. I am not respected much and would like your thoughts on how to interact with the RuneScape inhabitants.

*IRipYouOff*

Yes, that is a tricky one. All I know is, I wouldn''t be too happy about buying a second-hand camel from you.

Until next time my faithful friends.

Strength through wisdom,
Saradomin
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (6,1037340000,'All Hallow''s Eve','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Saradomin Responds.</h2>

<a href="/images/saradomin.png"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/saradomin.png" align="left" /></a>
**Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin now regularly communicates with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Runescape''s affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

<a href="/images/halloween-mask.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/halloween-mask.jpg" align="right" /></a>
> Dear Saradomin,
>
> I just wanted to say thanks for all the Halloween fun. I only managed to find 1 mask myself but thats ok. I had a blast!!! It was such a rush finding the mask that it made my day :-)
>
> Thanks again

*Scarletstarlet*

It gladdens my heart to see that it hath brought you so much pleasure. And to think that some people have said that these masks should have been deposited straight into their bank accounts. Now where''s the fun in that I ask you?

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Righteous Saradomin,
>
> Many are the times that Your praises have flown from my mortal lips. In You there is only but good. Please answer my cry, dear Saradomin! Your blessings to Your world are vast, and they continue to grow with the addition of Halloween Masks to the world. They have added a new spice to the world previously unexperienced!
>
> But please tell me, oh Holy One, those of us who live in North America are put at a disadvantage because the Masks seemed to be introduced during the prime of the day for European players. Must this happen every time? Are North Americans doomed to purchasing one of these treasured relics instead of living the joy that comes with finding one?

*Your loyal follower, Great Dane*

Ah yes, Europe and North America. Some say that these are different worlds, and its true that I do sometimes have trouble locating them on the Runescape map. But Saradomin''s mercy crosses all boundaries, and verily these masks were dropped across a span of fifteen of your hours - such was the dedication of our distributor.

> Dear Saradomin,
>
> I have wondered many-a-year if the rules apply to the place you obvisouly lost control over... The Wilderness... I mean whenever I attack someone they say very vulgar things and some times your good friends will turn on you even after they swear on their mothers graves... I think it is plain that Zamorak rules the wilderness 100%, look at the two evil churches, obviously dedicated to your brother. I suppose if that is his territory then you can not help what goes on there...

*Canvasch*

Swearing on their mothers'' graves and then attacking you? I wonder how meticulous you are about your choice of friends. But you''re right in saying that the wilderness is essentially a Zamorakian affair. It seems that even the most good-natured of players gets the urge to decapitate his fellow man occasionally. And so the wilderness enables them to do this. Of course swearing is still not allowed in the wilderness, and if someone is verbally offensive to you, please use the ''report abuse'' button.

> Oh great Saradomin,
>
> If you''re not a great cook, and you want food where do you go? The kebab shop of course! What''s this, I can only buy one at a time! Why should this happen? Wasting our life buying kebabs one at a time! Why not make it like any other store? Just have an inventory. Please great lord! I have spent long hours burying bones for you! Don''t waste any more of our time! We could be using it to pray to you!

<blockquote class="rsc-centre-text">Serving you,</blockquote>

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>123313</em></p>

<a href="/images/kebab.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/kebab.jpg" align="left" /></a>
More than one kebab at a time? That would be just decadent. Runescape is supposed to be a land of finely-tuned warrior poets, not grease encrusted slobs!

Besides, the kebab seller has to prepare them individually, so that you can always be sure of its freshness. Especially since goblin meat doesn''t tend to keep too long.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Saradomin,
>
> In the wonderful world that you have created, people eat so much, I would think that they would have exploded or at least become extremely swelled. They have no way to ''lose'' the bulk that they have taken on (besides having part of them hacked off by a monster). I think that if your world was to be better, you should have some kind of digestive system in the people who inhabit RuneScape, and outhouses or something so that the digestive systems can fulfill their purposes.
>
> That is all I have to complain about today. If you will not provide us with outhouses, maybe Zamorak will prove to be a mightier being, and give us a place to ''go''.

*Yhtomit Lrak*

Ah yes, Zamorak, god of bowel movements. I''m sure he would be flattered. But I''m glad you share my concerns about obesity. This is why there is so much walking in Runescape - to keep players in the peak of fitness. So I don''t think that out-houses are such a pressing concern, although I have noticed that the lake by Taverley has started to look a bit muddy recently.

> Saradomin,
>
> I understand the far reaching complications of this request. I would be willing to pay a great sum, or complete an arduous task for a one time privilege. The ability to change ones'' name, without starting over. There are many such as myself, who in their beginning naivety chose a whimsical or inappropriate name. Having risen to a respectable level in all skills, I find myself longing for an equally respectable name. But alas, perhaps I deserve to pay for the follies of my youth.

*U R A Lamer*

You should not feel ashamed Mr. Lamer. Well, maybe just a little bit. But your name is your identity and your birthright, so wear it with pride. The important thing is what your name represents. Are you an untrustworthy scammer, or a vigorour pursuer of truth? The former will be shunned by his peers, whilst the latter is embraced. And so the permanence of names is of great significance. Whatever your name is, you must make a name for yourself!

> To the god of all things,
>
> Ok I really need to know about the kind of a computer we need for the new graphics. I play Runescape on a really slow computer, but Runescape runs really well, I have about 250 mega hertz. Now when these new graphics come out, will my computer support it? I know I''m not the only one asking if we need a brand new computer to play the new Runescape.
>
> Long live the gods.

*Trippenflipp*

Fear not, my good friend, your facilities will indeed be sufficient for the upgraded version.

> Greetings Saradomin,
>
> As all of us on Runescape know, you and your brother Zamorak quarrel quite a bit. If there was no evil, then there would be no reason to be good and thus you get evil. If everything were evil, it would corrupt itself thus leaving a space open for good. This makes the quarreling pretty pointless. So I suggest that there be a god of neutrality to maintain the balance and not let either side become too powerful.
>
> The likelihood of neutrality is one of a studious manner pretty much. You have no ambitions, you do not side with others, you are a loner. Only when things get out of hand do you take sides with the minority temporarily. The representative color would be red (white good, red neutral, black bad, makes sense). This would prevent, if not stop, the quarreling between you two. Mind you, I''ve been getting terrible migraines lately because of you two.

*THL*

Behold, such a god exists - my brother Guthix. He doesn''t really do much; that''s neutrality for you I suppose. But the druids seem to like him.

> Almighty Saradomin,
> I just wanted to thank You for your mercy and the rune 2 handed you told my friend to give me!

*Arvid Hellstrom*

Hmm... I don''t remember telling your friend that actually. But I wouldn''t want to suggest that your friend has been hearing voices. So let''s just call it an act of faith.

> Oh Saradomin,
> What is up with all the new magic stuff???? This is giving an unfair advantage over the pures. They cannot pillage the wild and kill off the weak and defenceless (well it''s not as easy lets say).

*Dasupapowa*

And that was the idea. But I think that its more of a case of redressing the balance, not giving an unfair advantage. Indeed, some mages are saying that we haven''t gone far enough. Perhaps omnipotence does not extend to pleasing everyone.

> Hello my mighty god,
>
> I was wondering if you could reply to my question, I need answers...
>
> There is a strange man I see wondering over your world from time to time he is called null he seems normal until you look closely his combat level is 1! I thought that the people of your world start off at a combat level of 3, so how is this possible. When I added him to my contacts list even though he was logged on he appeared offline! And finally why does he disappear and reappear? Thank you my great god Saradomin.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>By Dark JAB</em></p>

Null is a mystical guardian who protects you when you first enter new areas. He is a passive and benevolent force, and as such his combat level never rises above 1. He appears and disappears in order to attend to the needs of all those who may require his protection.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/null-animation.gif"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/null-animation.gif" /></a></p>

Until next time my friends,

Strength through wisdom

Saradomin

*These might be suggestions for Runescape - although the gods do tend to be quite touchy about the evolutionary process. You might like to send questions relating to the history of the game, or queries about the many characters and races that inhabit Runescape. The best letters will be published in the email newsletter. Please note that despite their omnipotence, the gods of Runescape do not concern themselves with customer support.*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (7,1038808800,'Unisex?','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Saradomin Responds.</h2>

<a href="/images/saradomin.png"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/saradomin.png" align="left" /></a>
**Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin now regularly communicates with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Runescape''s affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

<a href="/images/mining.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/mining.jpg" align="right" /></a>
> Oh Ancient and Wise one,
> Firstly let me congratulate you on the incredible new structure of mining. No longer do I stand bored, hopelessly swinging my pick axe and making my arm and ''finger'' ache. The ore is there and it''s all mine mine mine. In 42 levels of mining I never saw a gem, now within 2 levels I have found 3. Sapphires sparkle but diamonds are radiant.
>
> The fact that you must rest makes the realism so much greater now. After all, unearthing gems can be tiresome work. I offer a final prayer of hope that this system stays forever.

*Yours admiringly, Aceaid*

<div style="clear:both"></div>

Verily, it pleases me that you are so pleased. Although I can''t promise that there will be no more developments. As my brother Guthix says, nothing lasts forever. Except maybe diamonds.

<a href="/images/wilderness-bed.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/wilderness-bed.jpg" align="left" /></a>
> Dear Saradomin,
>
> If there are no beds in the wilderness,why do you continue to have the coal rocks? It''s a waste of space and its laggy. I once passed through there trying to save myself from getting PK''ed but the lag made me stop and the opponent seems to have continued moving toward me and then killing me. I lost full rune but I saved my r2h. Can you somehow tell Zamorak to make the rocks dissapear?

*mewp136*

Rest assured, there are now beds in the wilderness. They can be found in the dark warriors'' castle, in the sapphire house and in the ruined town with the furnace in it. Even PKers need to unwind sometimes.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Dear Saradomin,
>
> I would like to know why you took the mithril ore rocks out of the mining guild and dwarven mine. Now the only place I can get mithril ore is in the wild where people insist on killing me.
>
> Your loyal follower,

*Chewy69.*

A good question. The mithril rocks respawn was increased,which meant that they needed to be a long way from a bed to stop them becoming too powerful.

However, under the new hard rock / soft rock system you can expect to see a couple of soft mithril rocks making a return to the miners guild soon.

> To the almighty god Saradomin,
>
>  On behalf of all the women of Runescape I humbly ask that many of the clothing and armor that is only made for the men, such as chainmail, robes, and aprons, can be converted to fit the female gender.
>
> With woman''s robes we won''t be at shame when we worship you and are mistaken as a man, we won''t hide when presented with chainmail, and we won''t shy away from wearing aprons when we cook! Thank-you high and merciful Saradomin. If you grant this wish the women of runescape will never forget.

*Your loyal servant, Starzball*

<a href="/images/chainmail-girl.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/chainmail-girl.jpg" align="right" /></a>
Yes it''s true that those unisex outfits do very little for the female form. But a new line in fashion is being crafted even as we speak, and after the update these items will be available to all! Just don''t feel obliged to do all the cooking.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> To the great Saradomin
>
> In response to the explanation of null in the recent newsletter.....
>
> I always thought null was a character in viewing distance but not yet loaded onto your computers memory.....call me a heretic....but...that would seem to make sense.

*Josh F*

How wrong you were! But don''t worry, lots of people are ignorant without being heretics. Although strangely enough the mage Andrew doesn''t seem to believe me either. In fact he agrees with you, and says "When you first meet someone in the game they will be called ''null'' until the server sends the name and appearance of that player to your machine. Don''t worry, it doesn''t actually affect the gameplay."

Until next time,

Strength through wisdom,
Saradomin
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (8,1039586400,'Monk bashing','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Saradomin Responds.</h2>

<a href="/images/saradomin.png"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/saradomin.png" align="left" /></a>
**Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin now regularly communicates with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Runescape''s affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Dear Saradomin,
>
> When you up-date the new graphics system will I be able to tell what weapon I''m using with out going to the inventory. Because when I''m out in the wild pking it''s good to tell a rune long from a rune 2-h, or a hachet from a battle axe.

*Spart dish1*

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/lots-of-weapons.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/lots-of-weapons.jpg" /></a></p>

Yes, it''s always nice to know what weapon you''re using when you''re mashing it into somebody''s skull. Just promise me that said skulls belong to nasty Zamorakian fiends who thoroughly deserve such treatment. And even then, I don''t entirely approve. But to answer your question, yes, after the update you will indeed be able to make this visual distinction. So you won''t feel like some novice who can''t tell his axe from his elbow.

> Great Saradomin
>
> Can''t there be a training spot for ranged attacks? Because I can''t find a fast spawningpoint for rats.

*Pauwelke*

Such a training spot does exist! But first you must complete the Biohazard quest- and it''s a biggie. So in other words, you must work hard in order to gain the right to train harder. A little puritanical perhaps, but there you go.

<a href="/images/knight-sleeping-bag.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/knight-sleeping-bag.jpg" align="right" /></a>
> Dear Saradomin,
>
> There have been some rumours going around lately about "sleeping bags," and the convenience of not needing to rest on a bed when fatigue is high. Of course I do not believe what everyone is saying, and I just wanted to confirm that sleeping bags do not,in fact, exist in the world of Runescape.

*Rasberrygrl3*

I am happy to announce that sleeping bags are indeed the stuff of myths. After going to all that trouble to make beds work, we couldn''t very well just let you miners crash out next to the rocks- that would take us back to square one! And I think it''s nice to walk back home for a well-earned rest.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Dear Saradomin,
>
> As you know, the holidays are coming up and me and other fellow Runescapers want to know what we can expect to happen over the holidays.

*935 dragger*

Well, everyone stop working for a few days, and the population of turkeys takes a sharp nosedive. Is that what you meant? Oh yes, and people have been known to receive nice gifts, which appear seemingly at random on a certain day of the year. But only if you''re good, of course.

<a href="/images/monk-black-eye.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/monk-black-eye.jpg" align="left" /></a>
> Dear Almighty One,
> I was defeating some black knights far away in the mountains, and after a few hours I got pretty bashed up. So I went to get cured by some nice Monks who just happened to be around the corner. I accidently clicked on one and started to kill him. I reduced him to very low health and stopped, he didn''t want to continue, so I talked to him, then he said, Yes, I will cure you. Why do monks cure you after you kick the living daylights out of them?

*The Mighty Telcis*

For all my omniscience, I am somewhat taken aback at how you can accidentally start to kill someone. And I imagine that the monk was a little startled as well. But they are a forgiving bunch, which is why they don''t mind healing you after you beat them up. Just try not to give them a complete pasting- they''re bound to run out of antiseptic cream eventually.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

Until next time my friends,

Strength through wisdom,

Saradomin
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (9,1043906400,'Zamorak Retaliates!','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Zamorak retaliates!</h2>

<a href="/images/zamorak.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/zamorak.jpg" align="left" /></a>
**AFTER 8 NEWSLETTERS OF COMMUNICATING WITH HIS PEOPLE, THE GOD SARADOMIN HAS BEEN SHUNTED ASIDE BY HIS EVIL BROTHER ZAMORAK, LORD OF ALL DARKNESS AND GENERALLY UNPLEASANT DEITY. AN AGREEMENT WITH HIS BROTHERS PREVENTS HIM FROM INTERFERING DIRECTLY WITH THE AFFAIRS OF RUNESCAPE, BUT ZAMORAK ISN''T KNOWN AS BEING A GREAT KEEPER OF PROMISES.**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

Hail, all ye followers of darkness! Cower in terror, all seekers of light. Everyone else can just listen. That self-righteous brother of mine has been hogging the stage for far too long, especially when Runescape players know who holds the real power around here- me!

So I''ve stolen Saradomin''s mailbag and thrown all his letters on the floor. I had to pick them up again in order to read them, but I think I made my point.
Some of them were quite good actually- even if most represented the sort of pathetic whining that I would expect from followers of Saradomin.

For example:

> Dear Saradomin
>
> Us Runescape Veterans are so under-rated. I''ve been called a noob, yet I''ve been here since the beginning, and yet when someone asks, when Runescape came out, everyone insists 2000. Yet as soon as I say ''98, it''s a big laugh. Though in your newsletter, you stated, "Five Ages after creating the world of Runescape, the great god Saradomin now regularly communicates with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet." Does that prove that Runescape came out in ''98?

*Wizarding2*

Clearly not. And if you were truly a "veteran", you would know when Runescape was created. Your friends are right to laugh at you.

But at the same time, you were obviously trying to intimidate others with your pretence of superior knowledge, and for this you deserve some credit.

In other letters and prayers, Toxy55 asks "where skeletons come from". My advice would be to head down to the wilderness and find out. As Guthix would say, the answers are inside of you.

Ah, how I love the wildy. That place where death and deceit go hand in hand.

For some, this is a problem. Jacob9ruler complains that "it is hard to find someone who doesn''t deceive another person in the wilderness, to gain something like an item".

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/knight-under-attack.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/knight-under-attack.jpg" /></a></p>

> "I found that around 35% of the people I ''Team'' with actually end up killing me."

This is what I like to hear! So be warned all naive and foolish types: conducting surveys on the trustworthiness of your friends can leave you vulnerable to attack. But the final word must go to Kenny22, on the subject of Christmas hats.

> "I, personally, woke up at 4am eastern standard time to get the hats." (applause).

He then complains about the fact that his friend logged on at 12pm and was also able to find hats.

As god of chaos and evil, I naturally assumed that I was the expert at bringing misery into people''s lives. But you, Kenny22, show a level of stinginess that surpasses all other Kennys, a meanness of heart that I thought was unattainable in mere mortals.

Feeling suitably inspired, I must now go and bring some more chaos and destruction to the universe. To all those who have been waiting patiently for me, our moment is nigh!

Strength through chaos-

<strong style="color:#f00;margin-left:16px;">Zamorak</strong>

*DISCLAIMER: The views of Zamorak do not reflect the views of Jagex Ltd or it''s employees. We''d ban him, but he''s a god.*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (10,1050296400,'Zamorak does one','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Zamorak retaliates!</h2>

<a href="/images/zamorak.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/zamorak.jpg" align="left" /></a>
**ZAMORAK MAINTAINS HIS VICELIKE GRIP OVER THE LETTERS SPREADING HIS MESSAGE OF HATE AND DESTRUCTION TO THOSE WHO APPRECIATE SUCH THINGS, AND ANSWERS A FEW QUESTIONS IN HIS OWN UNIQUE style INCLUDING A WILDERNESS SURVIVAL GUIDE, AND VALENTINES DAY BLUES...**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Hello, hello, lord of all evil doers. As I read the 9th issue of the Letters on Runescape.com, I found myself surprised and pleased...my god, Zamorak, had returned to communicate with us! As I read over the letters, I found myself laughing with DELIGHT!!! This was the one I worshipped and served, and rightfully so. I want you to know I am personally training everyday to tear apart those followers of the weak and goody-goody "Sardomin" or whatever his goofy name is. Keep blessing, errr, cursing your devoted followers.

*Yours Unruly (NOT truly), Rhl*

Thanks for your devotion, but there''s nothing worse than a crawler. What were you expecting from me, Full Rune? Drawing inspiration from another wannabe "teacher''s pet" (yes you Mr.Blibloner) I have deployed three black dragons, who have all agreed to meet with you for dinner.

<a href="/images/zamorak-symbol.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/zamorak-symbol.jpg" align="right" /></a>

> O great doer of evil,
>
> How is it that your weak younger brother has so many followers, who support him by wearing Holy Symobls of Saradomin? Why don''t you, in all your putrid glory, have a Holy Symbol of Zamorak? If there is one, please tell me about it, for I will have much reason to worship you further. If Saradomin deserves a holy symbol, why don''t you?

*Iamsure*

This has undoubtedly been one of the most popular requests. Holy symbols of Zamorak are of course illegal in the Saradominist states of Runescape. But rumour has it that a few have been smuggled in, and can be found in the recently released Observatory Quest.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Dear Zamorak,
>
> If you think you can just take over, you''re wrong, soon i will have my friends sending email to you like there is no tomorrow.
> Besides, if you keep this up, there won''t be a tomorrow.
>
> Your enemy that will not stop until you fail,

*Geethor*

Dear Enemy,

Thank you for your words of encouragement, it has spurred me on to be far more destructive today than I had planned; I was just going to meet Guthix for a pint.
But you''re wrong about their being no tomorrow. As a wise old man once told me, "tomorrow never comes".

Except last week, when it came several times. I had the man killed of course.

> In reply to the guy complaining about being deceived in the wildy, if you dont wanna lose your items, heres a few ground rules
>
> 1. Trust no one
> 2. Trust No One
> 3. TRUST NO ONE
> Then, PKers like me wont have a chance to kill you :-) (big gasp)
>
> A true PKer,
*Godswarrior*

Ah, a PKer with a brain- a rare thing indeed. But I thought the first rule of PKing was "Don''t talk about PKing", and the second rule was "DON''T TALK ABOUT PKING!"
That''s what one of the black knights told me anyway, when we were having a little chat about PKing.

<a href="/images/wilderness.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/wilderness.jpg" align="left" /></a>

> Dear Almighty Zamorak,
>
> Don''t you think there should be some sort of safe spots or houses in the wilderness?
>
> Everytime i go into the wilderness, i almost get killed by level 50 people when im only on level 28! I really need to refuge from these people! Can you erect some sort of house or town or something in the wilderness with your great powers so that you can help your loyal people of the wilderness?

*Darkwarrior8.*

For god''s sake- all three of us- that''s the whole point about the wilderness- it''s dangerous! And as much as I despise my brother Saradomin, even he recognises that the wilderness is a place of chaos, death and destruction.

We''re not trying to run a theme park here...

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Oh wise and powerful Zamorak, answer my prayer. Grant your followers an ability that allows them to quicken their speed. Perhaps you could make this ability a prayer that uses up points or a skill of agility which uses up fatigue. With this, your followers could make a quick charge into battle (or a hasty retreat away from it!)
> <span class="rsc-centre-text">Let evil reign!!!</span>

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>EricCleric.</em></p>

Hmmm, it''s funny you should mention that. I happen to know that the Council of Runescape is toying with the idea of some sort of speed burst or running ability, which would probably induce fatigue. So well done on anticipating this change: Great minds think alike. Fools seldom differ.

> Dear fiend of dastardly doings,
>
> I have been told that in the wilderness at the very end their is full rune that is unreachable unless you have telekinetic grab. Seems as you love the wilderness I thought that you might prove this or disprove this. From what i hear you are ignorant of answering questions but I have a good reason for you to answer this one.

Well I''m certainly not ignorant of anything. A tad lazy maybe... but since this is a newsletter I can hardly "prove" that this is in fact untrue. I can only "tell you" that it is a blatant lie, presumably designed to lure foolish adventurers towards the mythical bounty, like a sailor to a siren. So full marks to whoever came up with it.

<a href="/images/ugly-knight.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/ugly-knight.jpg" align="right" /></a>

> I am highly dissapointed in you and your brothers did all of the gods fall asleep or lose thier powers. You all forgot Valentines. Just because Runescape is based in Europe doesn''t mean that you can''t have a American Holiday. I can''t believe that 3 omniescient gods forgot Valentines. The worst part is that I didn''t know I was wondering for 3 hours before I found out from 12am to 3am. Gods just aren''t what they used to be.

*Your unfaithful servant: Zahor*

> PS: since you aren''t omniscient you probably won''t get this message and probably won''t do anything. So I have no worries.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

I didn''t forget Valentines and nor did Saradomin. We both gave and received Valentines cards, in fact. The one I got was from Saradomin''s (now ex) girlfriend- now that''s what I call all-powerful!
So all you''ve really told me is that no-one wanted to give YOU anything. In which case I suggest you take a good hard look in the mirror and start asking yourself some difficult questions.

> Hey Zamorak
>
> I want to know if we can be able to do special moves in battle that do a little more damage. I''m not talking about magic or prayer I''m talking about a slash or stab or something.

*Loto50*

Yes, when the new game engine update happens it will include weapons with their own special moves. And they''ll be a lot more exciting than your piffling little stabs and slashes.

> Evil one, I warn you.
>
> I recently read that multiple player combat would be available in the 3-d version. Most people would think this is a good idea, but i know from experience it is not. Before I played runescape, I played another MMORPG which had this same system and it was great and all, until the game got popular (about as popular as runescape) and the game was filled with dishonest lower lvl. These people would constantly deal just a death blow on the monster your fighting to get the drop...
> Unless you make it so there is an option to turn off multiple player combat for the monsters that particular person is fighting, I urge you not to apply this update, well, stop Andrew from making the update, you have evil powers right?

The details of multi-player fighting are still being decided, but there will be an option to disable multi-player fighting for those who want to fight alone. I do know that the revamped game system will allow us to have a combat system that is very fair and accurate in it''s designation of hits and scores. I did try to argue with Andrew against all this fairness, but he wasn''t having it.

> Dear Saradomin,
>
> I don''t really understand why you need money when you have too much power, but I have a question. How do you pay more than US$5 a month? I don''t know why I ask these questions, probably to donate more money, but please tell me how!

*Your naive, Ed Bighead*

Ah finally someone who appreciates all the hard work that is done for him. And yes of course you can donate more money.
Just make your cheques payable to Zamorak, and I''ll be sure to pass on the money to the right people...

Strength through chaos -

<strong style="color:#f00;margin-left:16px;">Zamorak</strong>

*DISCLAIMER: The views of Zamorak do not reflect the views of Jagex Ltd or it''s employees. We''d ban him, but he''s a god. But if you would like to converse with the dastardly one...*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (11,1053579600,'Zamorak Loves Letters','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Zamorak speaks out</h2>

<a href="/images/zamorak.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/zamorak.jpg" align="left" /></a>
**ZAMORAK TAKES TIME OUT FROM HIS HECTIC LIFEstyle OF SPREADING CHAOS TO ANSWER A FEW MORTALS QUERIES.**

**HOT TOPICS THIS TIME INCLUDE RUNESCAPE AS FAMILY BONDING, THOSE MYSTERIOUS RED CARDS THAT HAVE RECENTLY APPEARED AND THOSE OH-SO ELUSIVE EASTER BUNNY EARS...**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

Its been a busy time for me recently, theres just so much evil to be done, and so little time to do it in... but all my faithful followers will be glad to know I have a double sized edition of letters for you all.

I even actually answer some questions sent to me in a rare display of good temper.

<a href="/images/mapping-the-wilderness.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/mapping-the-wilderness.jpg" align="right" /></a>

> Dear Oh Evil One Zamorak,
>
> i was looking through runescape.com and i took a look at the map. And i started wondering why there is no map of the one place you rule (the wilderness). I would like to know why there is no map of your evil kingdom.
>
> Yours resentfully

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Spuder371 </em></p>

The council once put together a team of highly qualified cartographers, and issued them with large amounts of gold and lobsters as provisions, then sent them into the wilderness to map it.

Needless to say, my followers there ate very well that night.

The council didn''t really want to send any more mappers after that for some strange reason.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Dear Zamorak,
> I have seen your Wine of Zamorak sitting on the table where you have followers at. I see others try to take the wine, but they get attacked. I can bet a lot of people already know about this, but once you finally get to wine it does nothing at all. I bought one pitcher from the store, you cannot drink it, and I don''t know what you can use it on. Is there a purpose to your Wine of Zamorak? Or did you just setup this whole thing as a "gauntlet" to kill people who think they are getting a prize that is actully nothing?
> Please answer to this question Zamorak,

*NASCARFAN03*

As much as I like the idea of meaningless death, Wine of Zamorak does indeed have a purpose. You just obviously haven''t discovered it yet...

Also, as much as I approve of general stealing, I really wish people wouldn''t keep stealing MY wine. Can''t you all just steal Saradomin''s stuff instead?

> Lord Zamorak,
>
> Hello Zamorak, I Hope you get this because I have a question for you and I''d like you to think back. Exactly why, who, when, where and how were you banned from runescape. Exactly what did your evilness do to upset your lesser brother SaroDIM and your greater brother Guthix?

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Sincerely Jackaroo1</em></p>

I scammed the other gods out of their full rune and got reported for abuse.

Kidding.

I''m not banned from RuneScape... The other gods and myself simply have an agreement not to interfere directly with the matters of mere mortals anymore. Who has the power to ban Zamorak The Mighty? Or the courage? No-one, thats who. Thats not to say the other gods wouldn''t love to ban me, because they would. Oh, they really would. But they can''t. So I still get to keep all my lovely dragons and demons to do my work for me...

<a href="/images/zamoraks-wine.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/zamoraks-wine.jpg" align="left" /></a>

> Hello powerfull god Zamorak Why are your monks attacking wen taking the wine?? Mayby it sounds wierd but i mean the wine are spawning!!!

*Dr.burnt*

STOP STEALING MY WINE!

THATS WHY!

GAH!

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> Lord Saradomin,
> Alas, could you forward this letter to the librarian for in the Bestiary it skips dragons.

*\>From ArminasG*

Unfortunately that darned Librarian escaped from his little ''accident'' and managed to find those scrolls of my beautiful dragons. Whats worse is that hes now made them [available for everyone to see.](/library/bestiary/a)
I think I''ll have to make sure his next ''accident'' isn''t so easily walked away from...

> I recently ran away from home and came to a cyber cafe to look on my website and decided to check Runescape, when I accessed your news page I realised you decided to release 2 updates right when I couldnt play them! Did you do this because your evil and would like to torture me, because if you did! It worked your holyness im going home...
*Ozric 750*

Hmmm... bringing families back together is really more Saradomins line of work than mine you know... but Im glad I managed to cause some amount of suffering, even in a good deed.

> Dear Saradomin,
>
> Great game. At first, I didn''t want my kids playing...but, I decided to check it out myself before making a final decision about it. I had so much fun, I told my husband. Now we''re all a little ''hooked''. \*Ü\* We have three computers at home that are networked so we can play together. Free entertainment; they learn how to manage resources; and it''s a great incentive -- "Can I play RuneScape?" "Got your math and chores done?" \*grin\* ... Thank you!
>
> Time to play!

*Peace, ~Karen, FL*

Saradomin has been interfering again I see. All these ''happy family'' letters are beginning to give me a headache... Oh I wish I had some really bad news emails from someone to cheer me up again....

> Many Miserable Greetings, Oh un-so-mighty Zamorak. I have written to tell you one thing I HATE YOU... I HATE YOU... I HATE YOU... your miserable underground pass has cost me many an hour and i am not even yet half complete. I hate your underground pass and i hate your son Iban. I do like your robes and your unholy symbols but with you materials are the only thing that are not annoying. I know how this pleasures you to see me suffer but I do beleive if i met you i would give you a nice peice of my Dragon battle axe. Basically what im telling you is that every other quest i have done has not nearly aggravated me as much as this particular quest has and I think it is outrageously difficult.
>
> I Hate You,

*Trey Bell*

...and that will do nicely.

There is nothing more satisfying than a job well done... thank you for your letter, it really brought a smile to my face.
I''m glad Iban is keeping up the family traditions so well, I''ll have to give him some more monsters to play with next time we speak.

> I am concerned about the recent easter drop. Are they real bunny ears or fake? are there little bunnys running around with no ears? It aso seems strange to drop bunny ears when there are no actual bunnys in runescape. thank you for your time, your faithful subject
*FRIZOID*

<a href="/images/leftover-bunnies.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/leftover-bunnies.jpg" align="right" /></a>

Oh they''re real. I think you answered your own question there...
The reason there aren''t any bunnies left in RuneScape is so that there were enough bunny ears to go around. As it would be cruel to let loose a bunch of mutilated animals upon the world (although I personally would have found that very funny) The council decided to eat what was left.

The last I heard they had enough Rabbit jerky to last them for 40 years.
80 as part of a balanced nutritional diet.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

> I have fallen victim to the same scam several times so I am either an idiot or this is a widespread problem. If I need an item, and say so, sometimes, someone will say they know where to get one, and to follow them. They''ll lead me to a place which has high level enemies, and by the time I reilise I''ve been had, its too late. I always die, and they can presumably take my items. I would use the report abuse button, but it is not really covered by any of the catorgaries, and unless teh tech support people were looking very hard, they might not spot the scam. I think you should include ''Leading to Death'' as one of the abuse catagories.
>
> If this tiny flaw was sorted out it would make my game much better, thank you,

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Rugby4Ever2</em></p>

I love it when people answer their own questions in the very first sentence of their question.

Think about it.

> Bringer of pain and suffering,
>
> I wanted to know where all of those gloves, boots and caskets come from that I pull up so ofton while fishing with my trusty big net. Are they old rellics from past wars, or washed up belongings from drown newbies who leaned over to far on the boat from the trip to Lumberage from Tutorial Island?
>

*- Parkrat*

According to the Council, there were not adequate funds to provide a waste disposal service for the inhabitants of RuneScape to dispose of their rubbish, with the result being that thoughtless inhabitants simply throw their rubbish into nearby rivers and streams, or off cliffs, with zero regard for the impact on the environment.

Excellent. Littering might not be up there with looting and backstabbing, but its still a cause I whole heartedly approve of.

> Dear Saradomin,
> i have the fatigue problem while trying to get my mining levels up. how do i have less fatigue when i am mining?
>
> Sincerely,

*joe042004*

Go to bed. Next question!

> Dear Saradomin,
> I want to ask about the new that you can''t trade holiday items. although i understand the idea of people selling them at "outrageous" prices, but what would happen if you couldn''t get on Runescape that day? You would never be able to get the item! I think that if people want to to sell them at high price the buyer just has to deal with it.The holiday items were one of my favorite ways of getting money. Please respond and try to take this rule away.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Dakingruler</em></p>

Just one example of the hundreds who write to me complaining about non tradable and limited bunny ears. They all start their email the same way
"What if someone wasn''t around to get them?"
and they all end the same way
"I really wanted to make some easy money".

Foolish mortals... the council once thought it would be a nice present to players who were playing on holidays to give them a unique item.

This has now become an expectation that there will always be rare drops on holidays, and that these will be easy ways to make money.

They''re not. They''re a present. If you weren''t playing, you missed out.
I am extremely pleased that the foolish Andrew in an effort to give people gifts and make them happy instead manages to annoy people.

It reaffirms my belief in the underlying selfishness of you all.

I was sent this picture recently of my foolish brother saradomin:

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/fool-saradomin.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/fool-saradomin.jpg" /></a></p>

> Whaddya think?

I commend the author on their skill in capturing the ugliness and self satisfied, smug, stupidity of Saradomin so well.
Excellent work.

I just have time to answer a few quick questions before I get back to spreading corruption and death:

Seamus Aran asks: *"What football team/s do you support?"*
Saradomin likes the Lumbridge Eagles, I prefer the Ardougne Chimeras. Guthix says hes not really into competitive sports much. Guthix is kind of boring that way.

Leszek 14 asks: *"well where are the trolls????"*
I believe most of them left RuneScape to hang out on Internet message boards a while back, although as they are a race I particularly like I will be doing my best to bring some back to RuneScape.

Evil Doer asked *"what sword you have?"*
To which I reply: weapons are for the weak. A True Zamorackian would rejoice in nothing less than the slaughter of his enemies with his bare fists.

Nyar DCE questions me *"How many people work at Jagex?""*
About half, on a good day.

Just pures wrote to say *"In runescape there should be some freshing drinks like sprite coca-cola and fanta"*
Which amused me no end, as the number of pathetic complaints about the adverts that surround the free players game would undoubtedly increase if runescape started to have brand name products within the game.
An excellently evil idea, that I fear the council would never approve of.

If however any well known drinks manufacturers would like to contact me personally with large offers of gold, I will happily have Iban open a shop in their name...

MrMario asked *"What happened to Saradomin?"*
To which I respond, you should not ask too much or I will have no course left to me but to demonstrate what I did to the silly old fool personally upon you.
It would probably be fatal to a mortal. Its certainly very painful to a god...

Far far too many people ask: *"Whats the deal with those Red Cards?"*
to which I reply, they are given away free at the start of the Tourist Trap quest.

No, they are not worth thousands of gold... Perhaps it is the word ''free'' in their description that puzzled the weaker minded players amongst you?

Until next time loyal followers,
Strength through chaos -

<strong style="color:#f00;margin-left:16px;">Zamorak</strong>

*DISCLAIMER: The views of Zamorak do not reflect the views of Jagex Ltd or it''s employees. We''d ban him, but he''s a god. But if you would like to converse with the dastardly one...*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (12,1056085200,'Guthix Manifests','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Guthix Manifests</h2>

<a href="/images/guthix.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/guthix.jpg" align="right" /></a>
**GUTHIX IS SUMMONED FOR THE FIRST TIME THROUGH THE POWERS OF DEMOCRACY IN ANOTHER EXTRA LONG LETTERS SECTION AS GUTHIX MAKES UP FOR HIS LONG AND MYSTERIOUS PREVIOUS ABSENCE BY ANSWERING SOME QUESTIONS RAISED BY MORTALS THAT NO OTHER GOD COULD BE TRUSTED TO GIVE STRAIGHT ANSWERS TO...**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

I have kept quiet on the matters that hath afflicted my land, for I have vowed to not interfere, and, unlike my lesser brothers, consider such vow to be sacred.
The council however hath asked the inhabitants of my fair world whom most they wish to hear from for guidance, and the vote hath been clear. I cannot ignore the pleas of mine followers any more.
''Tis Guthix that thou seek to hear, so ''tis Guthix that shall reply.

---

> My Lord Zamorak,
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Your stunning arrival as the new god of the reception of prayers is somewhat distasteful. Both you and your brother Saradomin represent 2 extremes in nature. One totally sage-like, the other, yourself, is a more violent chap. I stand on no side in particular in this familial/godly dispute. So, if i may recommend your good brother Guthix to recieve the formerly mentioned prayers, it might provide players with a more insightful approach to their problems. I know of course that you would not do this willingly, and Guthix perchance does not care for this responsibility, i would ask my lord to at least entreat the Lord Guthix to this rather humble station.
>
> My blade at the Ready,
> Arialu

My ways are not of man, and truly I didst not wish to interfere in the plane of RuneScape to such a degree as wouldst require my direct intervention upon the queries of players, yet it seems my followers are greater than hadst prior been believed.
Thus it is that I will attempt to impart some small wisdoms upon my followers as proof their faith is not without merit nor cause.
It gladdens me to see that thou canst see past the limited opinions put forth by my lesser brothers, for long have they pushed their philosophies upon people.

---

> Firemaking is not used for anything besides, well, making fire. You should really make it so that you could do more things with it.

Fire is that which though taken for granted is a mighty power that helps man survive.
Thou shouldnt not underestimate its effects for it allows your food to be consumed, and lessens the effects of the wintry death that canst otherwise affect those brave men of the north.

---

<a href="/images/invisible-potion.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/invisible-potion.jpg" align="left" /></a>

> dear lord zamorak,
>
> Ive been hearing rumors about a invisability potion that you can make with 99 herblaw, and black dragons can drop the herb, the potion last 5 minutes of invisability, not even a white dot on the map screen. You can attack and people would know where your attacking from. If this is true please tell me, and if its a lie, please make this potion :D .

*Wiccaspeller*

Mine followers truly are skilled at the ways of the powers of the fields, yet such power canst not be freely given for all things must come at a price. There is no such elixir to be found in RuneScape, and it remains to be decided by mine self whether such power would be worthy of construction...

<div style="clear:both"></div>

---

> what program do u use to make runescape? i''m a gamer and would like to learn basic programming and would like to make an rpg (it would suck compared to runescape :) ) but i would like to know. If u could just tell me.
> ElvenKing256

The Mage Andrew uses an archaic and secret language known only by the select few which men call ''Java'' in his architectures of gaming. ''Tis not the most popular choice of magical dialects to create with, yet its power is clearly undeniable.

---

> Dear Zamorak,
>
> Well done! Someone/thing has finally got the old man to stop writing those boring letters and has started writing letters that actually make sense to the evil people! I would like to say 2 things if you will do me the honour of having you listening.
>
> Number 1: How did you get rid of Saradomin? Did you feed him to King Black Dragons, Use a secret herblaw potion to send him to another dimension or did you simply just boot him off his cloud?
>
> Number 2: I have put Saradomin on my friends list when only level 5, (I still don''t know what drove me to being so insane) and he was online. I am now much stronger (and a member) and wish to see you, my king. When will you return victorious with your great stories and blood-stained robes?
>
> Thank you my god, please bring chaos to the land.

*From: Heavenlyevil (lover of the badlands)*

> P.S I do not want any rewards, favours or presents because I do not deserve them. I wrote this based on my feelings of the runescape land.

My lesser brothers oft do boast of feats against each other, yet the truth is that neither has the power they claim, and Zamoraks theft of the letters was simply a theft.

Saradomin exists still, and holds as much sway with his followers as ever.
It is also a matter of record that neither canst utilise my powers through herblaw, for neither are open to admit that their powers are inferior to mine own - such is the way of those blinded by overriding principle.

---

> Dear dark god thingy,
> I must commend you on one thing, strength through chaos is a good motto. Dispite this, I am deciding to appose you just for kicks. I do have a suggestion, of coarse, I realize a ::snicker:: god''s time is inportant. when I first signed up for runescape I was amazed that you lack an official forum or message board. I believe this would greatly enhance the runescape experience, though I doubt you care being evil and such.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>you enemy for no apparent reason,</em><br /><em>Logan Mcloud</em></p>

The nature of things is a perfect cycle, from one state to another, and a return to prior existence.
Things that once existed yet now are lost, may yet return, and in improved form. I canst not say too much for my pledge to not interfere directly I hold with great honour, yet say this I may:
That which is no more will return again, renewed with more vigour and power than before.
Those who remember the past willst see the truth in my words.

---

> To the Almighty powerful Saradomin,
> My name is Star Blitzer seeking a unique wish upon you my god,Saradomin.
> What I am seeking you may have never heard but I wish to be a gnome.
> You having the greatest power in runescape and can easily 1-hit Zonghui
> please turn me into a gnome..take everything in my bank in order to pay take anything just make me a gnome..I wish to be the first unique, one-of-kind, runescape gnome! Great Saradomin I know for fact your powers exceed this simple task.
> Many thanks will go out to you and many runescape players will get a snapshot to remember whence they see a gnome player walk about.
> Your loyal wannabe Gnome,
> Star Blitzer

The Gnomes are indeed a noble race, and it ist clear to me why thou must be envious of their diminutive perfection, but balance must be retained upon the land. I fear I cannot honour your request, for it wouldst be against my nature, as noble as your request is.

---

> hi,
> sincs ur evil and all i would like too know y there isint any musicians in runescape. So u can have a cd player and buy ur music put ur speaker''s on and u can lisent to music. sir dracon

I knowst not of this ''cd player'' of which thou speakst, he must be a Bard of whom I have not heard tell, but I canst tell thee true that when my Land is recreated, the beautiful music of the gods shall once more fill the lands and rivers, and entertain those who walk amongst my creatures.

---

> Oh almighty Zamorak! I decided it was time for me to move on, and make another character, and while on tutorial island, I saw somebody wearing bunny ears! And I decided not even a wretched god (with all due respect, master) like you wouldn''t dare to put such a rare item on tutorial island! I suspect that this person is one of those feared people called hackers. Just saying that brings a chill down my spine, to know these evil lying and filthy beasts are amung us, and I pray to you and even your wimpy brothers that I am uncorrect and shr somehow got these bunny ears fairly even though she was on tutorial island...

The rarity of such gifts is not in their number, but in their limited span of existence without owners. I canst indeed confirm that players who were working through the guides of wisdom of tutorial island were not held to be any different to those beings elsewhere on the planet, and were indeed graced with the bounties of bunny ears. It is the nature of balance that gifts to all, are available to all, regardless of stature.

---

> Greetings my vile lord and good luck dealing with the infidels that shall write you, I ask this why not have a page for the mythology of runescape? the letters although providing some information are terribly lacking is the creation of the black dragons your only evil deed?

The Librarian of Varrock is a man I truly respect for he makes not judgements on events, but merely attempts to record them with accuracy for the truth of knowledge to spread. He is also sorely overworked, for the Library is far larger than its size implies. I do however have knowledge that such information is being compiled by him, and although such knowledge of the histories of this land may prove damaging to the reputations of my lesser brothers, and expose the lies and empty boasting with which they trap their followers, he hath my protection, for I believe it ist vital that all may know the truth and wisdom of Guthix.

---

> is it just me or is Saradomin favoring the "higher class" (members) insted of us "pesants".
>
> when was the last time we "pesants" got a update. in the news and updates page the lasr, 15 out of 18 are members updates (game updates only) and the rest are updates for both "higher and lowwer class"
>
> and to top it all of "members" now have QUADRUPIAL BANK SPASE!!!!!!!!!! its allmost imposible to crame all our stuff into 30 spaces and we end upe haveing to dump valuable stuff (iv found limproot on a banks floor). if anyone needed that update it was us
>
> at this rate we might as well just drop all religens (you and your brother) and sue you for every dime or dollar you have
>
> ...............................................
>
> p.s you might want to make a new segment in the measage entercalled complantes
>
> a part from that its a good game

It saddens me that thou feel such contempt for your fellow players; for it is truly their benificence that allows your own existence; is it not also obvious to all that those who have access to greater numbers of enemies, lands and items, hath need of storage far more than those who have but limited access?
I would suggest that thou be content with what thou hath, for to gain more is but a minor task of becoming a member, and thou lose nothing to keep what thou already have.

---

> I have a query that would greatly aid me if answered. I have read many pleas from Zamorak followers and Saradomin followers. I am confused about which "religion" to choose. I think it would be kinda cool to be a Zamorak follower, but I do not want to betray the goodness of the creator of runescape: Saradomin.
> Is there any way that I could worship one god without offending the other? Or worship both at the same time without arousing any problems?
> I sincerely hope that you will acknowledge my distressed situation.

*Yours confusedly, Black Angel7*

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/god-worship.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/god-worship.jpg" /></a></p>

To see the world through only one perspective is to deny thyself the truths of a perspective that shares both.
Many believe in my way, although they mayst not know it, and part of this belief is to not acknowledge either perspective as ''better'' for they are equal yet different.
Guthix is the creator, and Guthix is the only true god of RuneScape, believe not the lies of my lesser brothers, they have motives of their own that canst not be trusted.

---

> I would like to know where you stand on the issues of begging, and scamming.
> Most beggars that I''ve seen are obviously people who have played runescape long enough to know where to beg, and who to beg from. I''ve even heard some admit that they just make a new account, and use it for begging. I see this as evil, and since evil is right up your ally, I would like to know how you feel about it. Scamming is clearly evil, and I have noticed with every new members update there are new items that seem to have no other purpose than to scam non-members with. Is it you who is responsible for leaking these worthless items in to the free worlds? If so, is this your way of tempting scammers to become members? Has JaGeX become so gready that they have enlisted your help in recruiting new members, or do you do this merely to indulge your contemptible lust for malice? Just how evil are you?

*~ odium imbues ~*

Scammers and beggars are known to be the worst creatures of this land, more hated than Dragons and worth less reward when killed. I do not believe in condeming those who choose their own paths of right and wrong in this land, but they please no god but their own selfish ends, and not even the evil Zamorak will mourn their passing. Scammers deserve to lose their accounts, which is easily achieved through the report abuse button when thou see them scamming someone, and beggars deserve to be taken to the wilderness and shown the error of their ways.

---

> Dear Almighty Saradomin,
> I have come to you in hopes of gaining knowlegde. I have heard in some of the letters that you had answered about the biohazard quest. Now I am not a member but I was wondering nonetheless, if you could be so generous as to give me a little background information on this quest.

*Almanac1, a follower of the mighty Saradomin,*

An evil man with noble blood hath opened the door to an evil he cannot comprehend in the ancient city of Ardougne.
A result of his actions was a great plague upon the people whose cause couldst not be so easily explained, yet rumours tried to do just that.
I canst not give greater detail about the events of the Quest, for to do so would be to change the actions that must happen naturally, yet the events that occurred doth truly sadden my heart.

---

> i am yugimoto67 and yes theres rumers around the game that me ( lev 41 ) am evil enough to join the gods and i will defeat u if u dont lev me ( baldeen, fox473, ciku, and my brother nik12345 ) will defeat u if u dont let us join the gods i want full dragon stone duh or rune

There be already one god of evil who ceaselessly brags of his powers and battle prowess, despite being weak and fearful of mine own true powers.

We hath no need for any more.

---

> hey Zamorak,
> With your mighty powers of darkness, I think you''d think you''d at least be able to see the future... about when is the 3-d update scheduled? And what''s guthix like? There''s no backstory on whether he''s good or evil or something else.
>
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;from a charitable do-gooder,
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;zidane\_909

I am beyond good or evil, I am simply Guthix.
Of future events, I see most clear, yet things that must be, must be.
I couldst change them if I so desired, but I do not, for all things must happen as they run their course.
It is not beyond my power however to leave some small hint of when they may occur, and I can say that there will be a change most noticable upon the lands and people sometime between the equinoxes.

---

> Dear most dispicable Zamorak,
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Where can I find out about the next updates that are coming to Runescape? I just wish to know what is going to happen.

*TiggerD78*

As things change, news will appear.
As thou mayst have already noticed there are a number of small screenshots of this changed world available now, and the news and updates will give you reliable news of these updates first. Check it regularly and thou willst always know what is happening most precisely; and believe not the liars and braggards who claim to know things that others do not, for they lie for their own ends.

---

> Dear (not really) Zamorak,
>
> Fatigue has been annoying as in life even if you are exausted one second you can rest for a few minutes or get a drink of water and you can last for a while longer. We need a system where we can rest for a bit and then get back to work. this should be that if you go out and do hard work you can take a little rest and get up with out going back to a bed but where we caan;t rest back down to 0 fatigue because we can only last for a while when we do this, we need to be able to rest where we are mining then after a while that won''t work anymore and we will have to go to bed and get our deserved rest.

*From, supersmash worshiper of guthix.*

Fatigue ist a strange and ever changing condition that has puzzled the people of my world for a long time; as thou mayest have already noticed, such a change as thou hath suggested has already occurred, and the oft requested sleeping bag hath finally been made available to all.
As with all things however, there has been a price.
This is the nature of balance.

---

> Greetings so called ruler of darkness.
> I was startled by the lack of necromancy we hath the capability to perform. Canst we not perform these magiks? Shalt we never know the joy of having our own skeletal minions? Discouraged by these thoughts I turned to thine brother for aid in the subject of supernatuaral energies. Provide me with this power oh false god of darkness, so thou mayest be considered true in thine alignment. Craving true power,
> JowyKnight

Necromancy is an abomination to me, for it blurs the line between death and life, both of which are vital states that are required for the balance of this world to be maintained. Only the most evil beings follow such dark arts, and those who do so challenge not just my authority but those of mine lesser brothers too. I wouldst say that 3 gods doing their utmost to prevent any more necromancers fromst entering my lands means it ist unlikely for any mere mortal to achieve such dark arts, unless by some reason they are needed for balance in the future.

---

> Hey Zamorak,
> What has happened to tha Elves? If there are Dwarves and Barbarians, why not Elves? Are they in hiding, or can u make them appear? They should be a part of Runescape as well. Like me, they are very honorable, and as much as I don''t worship you, I think Elves need to live.

*Knifedge3*

The elves are a noble race, suffering great hardships, and have tried to stay hidden from man for their own reasons. I have seen their plight, and sometimes wish I couldst assist them against their travails, but I am Guthix, and I cannot alter the balance of the world.
Players will some day be able to meet the Elves, yet they are not ready to do just yet.
When they do I hope thou canst help them, for i have seen the future of their race, and it is dark and full of difficulties.

---

And so I must leave, for my tasks are myriad and diverse, and mine time is sorely pressed.
Until the next time I deign to speak to mine followers...

<p class="rsc-centre-text">Balance Is Power-</p>
<strong style="color:#008000;margin-left:16px;">Guthix</strong>

*DISCLAIMER: The views of Guthix do not reflect the views of Jagex Ltd or it''s employees. We tried to prevent him giving away our secrets, but he is a god.*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (13,1057035600,'Guthix Maintains','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Guthix Maintains</h2>

<a href="/images/guthix.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/guthix.jpg" align="right" /></a>
**GUTHIX CONTINUES TO IMPART HIS WISDOM TO HIS LOYAL FOLLOWERS DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND.**

**TOPICS COVERED BY GUTHIX THIS TIME INCLUDE WARHAMMERS, WHAT A GOD THINKS OF ''PURES'', AND WHERE TO BUY THE NEW PICKAXES...**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

I have much to impart to mine followers, and although I vow to remain detached from mine world, the prayers of my worshippers hath touched mine heart, and for this reason, I must speak once more.
I can not be silenced by god nor man, and my truths are evident for all to see

---

<a href="/images/warhammer.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/warhammer.jpg" align="right" /></a>
> Im sure you''ve heard of enough of the "dear unholy one" and all the other techneques used to flatter you so I have decided to spare you. I have only one request that is shared by many of my fellow followers, Warhammers. They could be two-handed, have much more power than a two-handed or "great sword", and would have much less aim than a battle axe. Before you procede to ignore or delete this letter, please remeber that with a Warhammer, I would be even more inclined to bash the heck out of people in the wilderness.
> That is all.

*Your chaotic follower- Obsidian*

I have good news for you for I know that The Council are preparing prototype Warhammers to add to all warriors arsenals of weaponry. I canst not tell you a specific date that the first units will be ready for public purchase, but I wouldst suggest that those keen to smite their enemies with large metallic blunt hammers will especially look forwards to the upcoming update to my world.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

---

> My Lord,
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Someone has boasted about finding a code to "blow up" Runescape. Could this be true? Or is it just foolish fibs.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em> Your servant,</em><br /><em>Ace Easter</em></p>

I wouldst suggest that this person is simply a foolish braggard, for I hath not given such a code to anybody, and wouldst not use it myself unless the balance of my world was so disrupted as to require me to finish my experiment prematurely.

---

> Dear Zamorak!
>
> I would like the names of the members in the stupid council that forbids us to do everything, whos in that stupid council anyway? It would be cool with some new "Got to kill" names muahahahaha

*~Eddeland~*

The Council are those who run the day to day affairs of the world of RuneScape.
As they art the ones who set the taxes for all of the businesses they prefer to remain anonymous, for there are many merchants who resent having to give them money on every sale made, and many watchmen who resent their low wages for the difficult job they must do.
Many watchmen also suspect that there be some fraudulent deductions made on their pay, for they pay a large sum as a pension, yet have a very low life expectancy, especially in large cities.

---

> Zamorak,
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I saw the new opinion poll feature on the Runescape website, and I think it''s a great idea. There''s one flaw, though. Since you continuously update the poll and display the results, many people will be influenced to vote for whatever is the most popular at the time. It''s just like the 2000 Presidential Election in the United States, where people in California were voting differently because television networks announced results from the East Coast. If you show the results to people before they even vote, the poll will be meaningless.

*Bigbigbigbig*

I see no flaws with the Poll, for it hath brought me from my silence to spread truth and honesty about the world against the lies of Saradomin and Zamorak that prevailed before. Democracy is truly a beautiful thing, for it allows balance of beliefs and opinions.
Guthix is clearly more revered than had hitherto been suspected, a fact that annoyed the Council who wished to keep matters secret, that I will freely tell.

---

> Are you a guy or a girl?

I am Guthix. I am neither, and I am both. Thou canst not define a god as thou wouldst define a mortal.

---

> Guthix''s brother Zamorak,
>
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Zamorak you ugly beast I have a question for you. Why were you banned from intefering in runescape? What hideous deed did you do? and why does people call Guthix a god that doesnt do anything. He is the god of neutrality and neutrality doesnt mean you dont do anything it means you dont involve youself with the wars or deeds of others. It means that you keep yours to yours actually. by the way no offense to the god but I am actually glad you took the letters away from SaroDIM .
> They were getting boring.

Both Saradomin and Zamorak were compelled by my power to cease their direct interference on my world of RuneScape as when last they walked my realm it wast nearly destroyed by their squabbling.
There wast no specific incident that hath caused this, I had simply had my fill of their wars destroying my beautiful planet and prevented them from interfering anymore.
They are however both mightily powerful, and I cannot fully prevent their indirect actions upon the world.
As for those who say I do nothing - who makes the rivers flow? Who makes the trees and plants continue their cycles of death and rebirth? Who keeps the endless circles of Nature and Balance from breaking and bringing destruction to the lands? It is Guthix who keeps the land inhabitable, those who follow me understand these truths.

---

> Dear Zomorak,
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Why is it when i see a new item, monster, or charecter i examine them. Ever since i played runesape i would examine everything... to the Dragon in the dragon slayer quest to the Tree Spirit in the Lost City quest. I guess its a habit of mine of examining everything i see. Can you give me any advice to stop my embarrasing habit?

I thinkst not that thine ''habit'' be embarrassing; truly it is the nature of life to be curious of its surroundings, and seek to discover more of the mysteries of the lands they walk. I commend thee on thy intellect to examine the objects which so many others might simply ignore on their way, for everything has a purpose on the world, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

---

> After consideration, I have concluded that the only practical solution to the RS II transition is to transfer existing members'' characters over and eliminate freeplay. This is why:
>
> 1. If you wipe, some people may quit - but those that remain will play a free version to train the free skills up - not many will pay to train on chickens, if you get my drift. The result would be several months of no revenue.
> 2. If you provide any free version, there will be reduced incentive to become a member - a common trait now amongst f2ps.
> 3. Eliminating freeplay will reduce server support costs and ''force'' players to become members, thus reducing costs and increasing revenue.

I thinkst that thou doth judge the free players too harshly; I am an essence of balance, and the free players help balance my world. I wouldst not wish any specific harm to befall them, and it has been said by the Mage Andrew on numerous occasions that their smaller realm will continue to exist alongside the larger and more expansive paid realm even after the world hath been reshaped into its newer form.

---

> Dear Zamorak
> For the "pure" with no magic with member it is very hard to get to deep members areas without walking very far. Could you do something for us pures who are dying from walking too much?
<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>N O K K</em></p>

Pures are an abomination to me, for they shun the thing that they should seek to find: Balance in all things.
Thou make thy pleas to the wrong god, for all true followers of Guthix hate these so called ''pures'' for their ignorance of the power that can be found in balance.
Thou deservest to walk until thy very feet are raw with effort, for ignoring my teachings and trying to become something that thou shouldst not. When my plans are unfurled, ''pures'' will be the very first to suffer of all the creatures of this world.

---

> Hmm Zamorak, you always end your letters with ''Strength through Chaos''.
> Though chaos is a whole lot more fun, order can actually bring you more strength... If you look at those ancient romans they had strength through order and were able to achieve victory, though outnumbered, against barbarian hordes.
>
> Although theres something so evilishly evil about sending mass amounts of followers to their deaths, if you really want to take over the world then you''re going to have to get some order sooner or later.

*Omnislash42*

> By the way, in response to "A True Zamorackian would rejoice in nothing less than the slaughter of his enemies with his bare fists" im pretty sure if you want to fight with no armor and weapons i could probably take you... and im pretty small.

Zamorak and Saradomin are both limited beings by their all encompassing adherence to one philosophy: it prevents them from ever seeing the truths that lie behind the universe, and they will always fail in their actions because of this. As you rightly surmise, if either of them were flexible enough to take a part of the others beliefs and make them their own, then they and their followers could quickly and decisively make an end of their warring for once and for all.

This is why I Guthix am mightiest of all gods, for only I fully comprehend the nature and mysteries of the universe, and the power that lies in achieving a finely tuned balance.
Thou makest an interesting challenge towards Zamorak with thine words, but I fear to disillusion you: an ant with the greatest blade and armour in the world, is still no match for a bear armed with nothing...

---

> Dear Saradomin,
>
> When the new graphics update is released, will customizing your character become more detailed? Choosing between a green or yellow shirt doesn''t really give runescape much of a varied apperiance. Please dont smite me with your great powers for saying that.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Your faithful follower, Morbid_Slayr</em></p>

Let mine words assure you, there will be far greater customisation of players available when my world is renewed. Although I must confess, the colours of yellow and green are both mightily pleasing to mine eyes.

---

> Greetings o'' evil one, I have a question I would like you to answer. Since your a god, what do you do for fun? Do you send Sarodomin a bunch of dumb annoying Emails, or go down to Port Sarmin and ride your private yacht around? WHAT DO YOU DO???

I consider the balances of the universe and attempt to refine these balances upon mine world which thou inhabit.
I believe Zamorak takes mischievous pride in high level players suffering deaths to lower levels and in the ignoble defeats of mighty warriors to relatively puny monsters.
Saradomin hath a great pride upon himself, and his time is mostly spent with listening to the songs of his glories from the religious and the offerings of bones made to him by those seeking to gain his favour through prayers.

---

> Hey Zamorak
>
> I want to see you have a fight with saradomin, My bet is on you zamorak!
>
> A complete Idiot, Acintai

Neither would win, for neither couldst exist without the other. This is the way of the world.

---

> Dear gods of runescape, I just wonder what is your opinion of each other?
> And what does you guys want to do with the world?
> I want to fight for some god but i don''t know wich one of you guys I want to fight for.
> So please write back your opinions about this...

*Greetings : Honke_ponke*

I hold a different belief than mine brothers, for I believe fighting should only be for a specific cause, not as a general attempt to gain favour with a god. I specifically do not seek followers, they must come to me of their own free will.
If you had asked mine brothers however, they would both tell you that they are the mightier, and that their way is the only true way, and that thou must smite thine enemies while singing praises to them, the cause being second to the glorification of themselves.

---

> Lord Zamorak,
>
> Hail the almighty god of choas and destuction, Zamorak!! I was wondering what is one the runescape coin??

There are numerous different currencies throughout mine realms, with each of the major fiefs holding a different currency, yet all are of similar size, weight, and all made of purest gold, so they are accepted everywhere regardless of the patterning which merely shows from whence they came.
The standard coinage is to have either the royal coat of arms or a profile of the ruler of the land on one side of the coin, and a symbolic design on the other. Varrock for example hath a shield motif on one side, and the Varrockian Crest on the other, the shield being testament to a great hero who once did dwell there.

---

> Oh great and powerful Zamorak Lylax the Deathquestor requests that you answer his question:
>
> While casually butchering one of your temples for not giving me directions, I noticed a jug of wine. As everyone was either dead or begging you to get rid of me, and I was feeling quite thirsty, I took it. However, I have found no use for it, and cannot sell it for cash. What on Runescape is it for?
>
> Death or Glory!
> -Wargamer

Zamorak will often evade mention of this, for he fears people discovering too much of himself, yet I canst tell you that it is one of the ingredients of a mighty elixir which shouldst be of interest to all students of the apothecral arts.
I canst not tell you more, for fear of upsetting the balance of the world, yet many of my Druids who know of such things are wise and mayst be able to help you in understanding its true purpose.

---

> Dear evil one,
> Ha! In your face! In the first Runsecape poll, you can clearly see that people hate you. They like your brother Guthix better.
> -a321654987

It truly gladdens me that so many players canst see through the lies told by Saradomin and Zamorak and bring themselves to find the true way, the path of Guthix.

---

<a href="/images/scales-of-guthix.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/scales-of-guthix.jpg" align="left" /></a>
> dear sarodomin
>
> i personally think that having to sleep is terrible it takes too long to get our mining and smithing lvls up so we can get the much needed armor.
>
> your faithful servant
> ecks69

There hath been a mighty change to the way that fatigue affects mine people, and the way that sleeping canst be used to reduce it.
As with all things it is a question of balance: you willst probably be gladdened that sleeping is now even easier with the invention of ''sleeping bags'' (which seemst to me some form of transportable bed) yet will be dismayed that there is now more fatigue requiring more sleep.
With everything there is a cost; this is the nature of balance.

---

> Both you and your weak, feeble minded btohter Saradomin have symbols that your followers can wear to make their dedication known. Does Guthix have any symbols of his own?

I have no symbols, for I have no ''real'' followers. To pick one option over another is to disrupt the balance of all, and that is what I represent. Thou mayest say that my symbol is to not have a symbol...

---

> Hated zamorak
> i thougt the nature was in a evelotiun but why has the jungle spiders on the old gnome island devolved from lvl 61 to 47?

*//JVXS a dear follower of saradomin*

All things must change to preserve the balance; if certain creatures on my land seemst out of place through their strength, then it ist my duty to either remove them, or to diminish their powers to a more lowly level.
It doth not happen often, but is sometimes essential, so that a greater balance can be achieved.

---

> Your godliness,
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I tried contacting your brother guthix but, my message would not reach thrugh it said there was no such address for him. What email address should i send my letters to?

*Owentheyo*

Many gods do not understand this thing called ''email'' but i have been informed by certain members of the council that they will allow those wishing to seek my favour and knowledge to contact me directly; but as greatest of the Gods I see all messages addressed to both Zamorak and Saradomin, and can intercept them when necessary.

---

> Dear Guthix
>
> I once tought evil would be the right way but it was surely not. I like more to be a nutral god such as thy. I ask you my lord will your religon ever expand cause it seems not to be as powerful as Saradomin and Zamorak. I would like that holy symbols of your religon would be made so peoplel may identify your greatness.

*Always in your command Ganther*

My followers do not wish to expand to form a third ''faction'' upon this already troubled world; no, it is the aim of all of my followers to achieve the perfect balance that once existed on this land before the interference of Zamorak and Sardomin caused such strife and war upon the world. Mine followers will pick sides as necessary, but will always follow the true path of balance; performing acts of goodness and mercy when needed, yet being merciless and cruel to their enemies when time dictates.
Mine followers would never declare themselves openly to be my followers through such empty and posturing gestures as ''symbols'' for they know in their hearts they have my support if they follow me truly.

---

> Dear Great One.
> I have recently destroyed one of Zamorak''s minions.. a black knight, and have taken his attire, and i wear it.. Today i have full black.. Many people think i am a follower of zamorak, when i wear it.. What should i do? Please tell me,

*-RangerHaldir*

Clothes maketh not the man; those who assume you to be one thing merely because of the garb which thou wear, make a foolish mistake which will undoubtedly cost them dear someday in accepting something at face value when there are hidden depths which they ignore.

---

> are you able to put in an armoury section at the library of varrock so that we can see the appearance of weapon after the update?

I believe Reldo is planning such an enhancement to his ever growing library, yet I canst not give more specific details than this.

---

> Oh Evil Pretender:
> You claim to be a "god" of chaos. Surely you realize that this is impossible. If you are a "god" of anything, you control it. As controlling chaos would certainly turn it to order, you cannot possibly be a God of Chaos. An advocate, maybe…

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Prove it to me,</em></p>
<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Whatsmyname</em></p>

An advocate wouldst be one way of describing the necessary role which mine lesser brother Zamorak fills; another would be a personification. He is a god of Chaos, for he is a god, and yet he is also Chaos itself.
Thou wouldst not like to meet him on a dark night alone, that is truth.

---

> Dear god of Evilness,
> One day I went to eBay and I saw that RuneScape accounts and items were being sold. Is this illegal?
> Your undevoted follower,
> Fridays

It is sad that some weak-minded individuals cannot tell the difference between my realm of RuneScape and the world from which most players originiate, seeking to combine the two and sell in one that which cannot be bought in the other.
It is against RuneScapes rules, and more than this, it personally offends mine own sense of balance. I beg of any such auctions found by players to be reported to the councils hard working customer support team so that they might be closed and their accounts removed.

---

> -To whichever deity is answering the letter-
> Most call me paranoid, but this is a question which I am desperate to be answered.
> I have quite a lot of people of my friends list, and a worrying number of them have been ''hacked''. Obviously I dont want this to happen to me, so I was wondering if you could tell me what to look out for, and how these people ''hack'' you. Can they still do it if you dont give them your password? Is it true that Jagex staff ask for your password in-game? How do I defend myself! Please help me!
> -NiceGuyEddie

I willst tell thee now, and forever will it remain true:

**Nobody from Jagex will ever ask you for your password.**
**You should ONLY EVER give thine password at runescape.com.**
**No other domain that ist not runescape.com**

If thou see someone claiming to be a staff member and asking for passwords, use the report abuse button to summon forth fiery demons of wrath and vengeance and drag their character to the pit of eternal tedium where such scammers deserve to dwell eternally.
Even the word scammer offends mine senses for I doth hate them sorely

---

> Dear Darkone,
> why not make sheep attackable? They prance around laughing at the cows being killed by low level players. Even the camels will be soon attackable. Sheep should be level 5. This would also help low level players train when the first start out. the cow pens have became very crowded through the years.
> Your felow darkone~
> Darkflawz

The sheep are under mine protection. Attack them at thy peril.
Although my warning is futile, for my magicks prevent mere mortals from harming them anyway.

---

> I was wondering why Guthux has yet to make his appearance on the messages. I ,as a bard of Guthux, wonder when he shall voice his opinion. I go around telling people great tales of our world and receive material gifts, but I wonder, when will I, if ever, get a true '' I thank thee'' from Guthux himself? And just for you Lord Zamorak, I would like to tell you that I somewhat recently lured unsuspecting victims to their death in the wild. "TO FIND EVERYTHING IS NOTHING, BUT TO FIND NOTHING, IS EVERYTHING"
> Follower of Guthux- Demon Draco

It is not in my nature to reward those who follow me, for those who follow me do so for their desire to see balance, and balance is its own reward for those chosen few.
Material wealth means nothing, unless it is used for a specific purpose too - those who squander their monies on useless trinkets such as ''party hats'' simply to display their meaningless wealth know nothing of the true ways of Guthix.

---

> Great Saradomin,
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;There is something I must know. Over the entire course of my Runescape play so far, I have encountered this twice now. Apparently, a mysterious player by the name "null" occasionally appears to myself and others. I have seen him only around Lumbridge Castle and he seems to say a little something and vanish suddenly. I have heard many rumors about this certain null, one such would be that null is actually this great game''s creator, Andrew. Please, almighty Saradomin, tell me who this null is and clear up all else that is unknown about this character.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>- Your faithful follower,</em><br /><em>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Jedi Hunter</em></p>

It doth puzzle me that thou claimst to be a follower of Saradomin, yet have clearly not read the teachings he has imparted previously. I wouldst suggest that thou examine the answers he hath previously replied, for the answer to thine question is there for all to see...

---

> O great zamorak
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I would like to know were do you find the pick axes I thought there would be a shop were you could buy them but there is not. If there is one been bulit or one i dont know about I would like to Know thank you. As one of your follows I am proud. If you need eney thing doing on runescape i would like to help you sir. I am also buliding a army of zamorak i have over 600 people who are a part of your arm. We would do eney thing to protect you we will sever you. Also i would like to know wat u want are army to were black aromor, steel, addy, and rune
>
> Email me back when u want or if you want thank you for your time

*Sent buy SIR SEARLE*

The shop of which thou speakst is located amongst mine true followers the dwarves.
I hear tell their prices are quite reasonable for such prized items, and stocks hath been replenished due to such high demand.

---

My time here on this plane draws short, for a myriad of tasks do occupy me, and I have spoken long and true to mine followers so far.
And so I must leave you, yet rest assured, one day I shall return...

<p class="rsc-centre-text">Balance Is Power-</p>
<strong style="color:#008000;margin-left:16px;">Guthix</strong>

*DISCLAIMER: The views of Guthix do not reflect the views of Jagex Ltd or it''s employees. We tried to prevent him giving away our secrets, but he is a god.*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (14,1060059600,'The Return of Saradomin','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">The Return of Saradomin</h2>

<a href="/images/saradomin.png"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/saradomin.png" align="left" /></a>
**SARADOMIN RETURNS TO PRAISE THE PURE OF HEART, AND TO HONOUR HIS FOLLOWERS WITH SOME REPLIES TO THE PRAYERS THEY HAVE SENT UNTO HIM.**
**ANY CONNECTION BETWEEN SARADOMINS PREVIOUS WRONG ANSWERS AND HIS RECENT PROLONGED ABSENCE IS ENTIRELY COINCIDENTAL.**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

Greetings loyal followers! Many of you may have wondered why I allowed the despicable Zamorak access to your prayers to me, and to this all I can say is:
sorry about that.
The fiend stole the bag which I keep my messages in, and replaced it with a bag full of little pieces of paper saying "Get your axes from Bob''s axes".
What the meaning of this is, I do not know, but apparently while I was busy wondering why nobody writes to me anymore, Zamorak has been having fun abusing my loyal believers.
I don''t even want to start on what Guthix has been saying... partly because I don''t understand most of it. Nature gods really aren''t that good at conversational skills.

I would also like to clear up beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I have not been "hiding because I was wrong about sleeping bags" as Zamorak has been telling people.
I wasn''t wrong. I''m never wrong. I was just not totally right.
Anyway, now I am back in receipt of my faithfuls'' pleas, let''s answer some queries!

---

> Dear great Saradomin,
>
> Why dost thou serve only acholic beverages in your world? Is the water and juices that unatainable, is the water unpure? If it is, why not offer a purification system, magic can produce fire with will remove impurities from the water as it evaporates. A drink should not have make you disposed and drunk to heal you. I thirst and thirst for water but can not drink any. Why..?
>
> A thirsty soul,
>
> Geniousman

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/banned-water.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/banned-water.jpg" /></a></p>

The truth is that the council once tried to put a sales tax on all those who purchase water from taverns, but it was very unpopular with those who felt that things that can be found just lying around (water, meat, bones, etc) should not have to be paid for.

The council resolved this by simply outlawing the sale of water throughout the lands.
On a different note, I would suggest to anyone visiting RuneScape for a holiday this year NOT try drinking the water - as many a fisherman will attest, you find all sorts in it... and a nice cold ale is far less hazardous to your health.

---

> dear saradomin,
>
> Is there cheats or auto miner''s on runescape i have seen many charathers trying to scam newbies like this: ''''pay me 50k and i tell you how you can use autominer'''' so can you tell is there real auto miners or cheats in this game and why free version has only one bank list??? and can you put 3 bank lists in free version???

Apart from the obvious fact that ''cheating'' in ANYTHING be it merely a game, or your life, is wrong and will ultimately bring you nothing satisfactory, there ARE no cheats in RuneScape.
Oh, people may tell you different... but those people are trying to ''cheat'' by stealing your account. Which I don''t think is what you want.
Your life will be far more complete if you work hard for your rewards, because the satisfaction gained is far greater when you have achieved something by your own dedicated effort... and I would suggest you use the ''report abuse'' button to catch any of these liars before they harm a player not as slow to trust as yourself.

---

> O knowledgable and great Guthix , I humbly ask on behalf of all wood cutters please can we have a similar system to the miners , we had different varieties of hatchets a long time before them but it seems that we have been overlooked in this matter. Whilst we thank you for saving our mice and fingers from strain while mining ,please please please can do the same for wood cutting.

> Your humble servant,

*Lidawano.*
*(Power in balance)*

> P.S I have attached a photo of my character made from hama beads by my daughter.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/lidawano.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/lidawano.jpg" /></a></p>

I apologise to you noble woodcutter for the interception of your message intended for Guthix, but I was deeply impressed with the realistic sculpture which image you have included; it is in my mind a work of art, and you should tell your daughter that Saradomin is a great appreciater of fine art. Verily, the sculpture almost appears alive, so true a likeness is it to the people of RuneScape.
On the subject of woodcutting, I do not believe that such a system is needed at the present time, but I have no fear that if Guthix decides such a thing will be necessary to prevent the incompetent hacking at trees without a point, then he will probably introduce it.
Probably with some longwinded explanation about ''balance'' too.

---

> O great one Saradomin,
> I must first say that I thouroughly enjoy wandering daily around your beautiful world (Please Note: I am not a brown noser) meeting people and improving my skills. However, there is one small thing that bothers me. I am a relatively new ''citizen'' to your world and I am of a mere level 14, and when I am performing quests, I often get attacked by higher level beasts, for example giant rats or scorpions. This often results in my death, and I hav to start the quest all over again. So I thought that it would be a good idea that two citizens may attack a hostile creature at once. At the moment, one player may attack while another casts spells, but when their rune supply is low, they are more or less useless.
>
> I hope you consider putting my idea into action.
>
> Thankyou for your time O mighty master,
> Will A.K.A IH8XBOX

Although I believe combat is wrong in all forms, and that the simplest solution would be to not get into combat at all, I also know full well that the cursed Zamorak enjoys tormenting honest workers on their travels with all manner of creatures.
I am glad to say that when the 3D update occurs you will be able to be assisted by your friends in hand to hand combat, and not just assisted by rangers and mages.
Hopefully this will allow my Holy Warriors to restore peace to my lands at all costs, and finally drive the evil zamorak away for good.

---

> Foolish Saradomin,
>
> I have killed many of you minions and where black amour a lot. I would never even touch your holy symbol. I wear Zamorocks symbol. Tell me why Zamorocks symbol is harder to get then going to a "general store" and buying your symbol for 34 gp! Foolish Saradomin do reply!
>
> Zamorock 4 ever,
>
> A loyal Zammorock Follower

It saddens me to see life go to waste following the lies of Zamorak, yet it amuses me to see that even his most dedicated followers don''t know how to spell his name correctly.
The reason my Holy Symbol is available everywhere, is because it''s better.
I am the greatest, so more people want to show their alleigance to me, so more shops sell it because it is more popular and they will make more money from it.
Yet more proof that I am the greatest god, because I have the most followers.
It''s not too late to change alleigance and glorify me with my stylish Holy Symbol you know, and you''re already on the right step by getting my name right!

---

> dear almighty god saradomin, you have blessed us with an excellent way of holding our unstackable objects, by means of the certificate... although there is one item that i beleive deserves a certificate of its own. the bone! i have been scammed once before by someone asking to trade a runite two hander (i would only have used it as self defence my lord!) for a certain amount of big bones. i could not trade all of the bones at one time, so he said half way through he would trade the sword. obviously he kept the bones, and weapon for himself. this is why i request bone certificates..so others arent scammed the way i was.. certs for dragon bones, bat bones, and all of the other many types of bones with wich to praise you with! i also hope in the future for more techniques that prayer allows you to do. thank you for your time almighty saradomin! until we talk again.. your loyal follower -zak1

One of the most ghastly and morbid suggestions I have ever heard... to take the remains of the deceased and instead of giving them peace in their death and glorifying me through their burial, instead defiling them, and using them as some form of currency.
Apart from the health risks associated with storing large quantities of unclean dead objects, I find this idea morally repugnant, and the idea that you would ask for this in order to praise me shocks me to the core.
I suggest you find new ways to revel in my glory, for I will have no part of this macabre scheme.

---

> dear almighty one, i was one day walking around the monks institute when i came across many valuble items left lying around.
> these items inculded: gold amulet, many coins, bones, amour, swords, and even a rune pickaxe!
> shall thy gods speech how these collectables were left there?
>
> your mighty follower, Hmsvictory.

<a href="/images/treasure.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/treasure.jpg" /></a>

I personally know not, but surmise it was some rich yet morally corrupt adventurer seeking to atone for his sins against me by leaving an anonymous donation with my monks.
Or possibly some unlucky zamorakian fell foul of my followers divine strength by getting too cocky, and ended up the victim to a ''harmless'' monks anger.

---

> Greetings oh mighty Guthrix,
> I am sending this to you because I can''t remember the name of the evil god and have no idea how to spell sardomin (and because you are my favourite god being the god of balance).
> In the next letter to the mere dots of this, us humans, could you tell us a bit about gaining, canceling and regain membership in regards to what happens to your items and stats.
> This what I would like to know:
> 1. I am currently using the free version and I want to go members. Can I upgrade my current account to members? If I can upgrade it do I keep all my items, stats ect?
> 2. Once I become a member for a while and decide to go back to the free version can I downgrade my account back to the free version? If I can downgrade my account will I keep all my items, stats, ect?
>
> Thanks to whichever god answers this letter.
> Yaho\_13

I will take this question from Guthix, for he knows very little of the ways of men. And when it comes to money, almost nothing (he just can''t understand the concept of ownership, I''m afraid), and it is my duty to help where I can.
1. When you become a member you may specify which character you would like the membership to apply to: if you wish to bring your current character to enjoy the new lands and adventures which membership offers, you can.
This is the choice that many people take, and you bring with him all items and wealth so far accumulated.
Also of course, although this option is not as favoured, you can create a new character and begin your explorations of the world anew in the members area.

2. If you feel that you have seen all that membership has to offer you (although I suspect this will not be a problem for a while, given that the members lands are continuously being explored and mapped, with new adventures and areas to explore being discovered) you can indeed return your character to the smaller free lands with skills and stats intact.
However, if you have items stored in your larger ''members bank'' you will not be able to deposit any items until your bank is as small as the ''free bank''.
This is unfortunate, but it is the councils policies regarding interest rates and inflation that compel the First National RuneScape Bank to implement this policy.

You will also of course be unable to use any of the ''members only'' abilities that you may have acquired, such as agility or herblaw, in the ''free lands''.

---

> Hello extreme evil one, I, a great artist of Runescape, have found it extremely unfair that Saradomin, your sworn enemy, has gotten his picture taken. I take it to heart that you of all gods deserve a picture taken! Here it is, oh evil one:

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/fan-zamorak.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/fan-zamorak.jpg" /></a></p>

*Until next time, Offdaheezie2*

It seems when I reclaimed this bag of letters from Zamorak, he inadvertently left a message intended for his eyes inside it.
You have captured his looks very well; and to think he tried to laugh at MY appearance!
How can anyone possibly follow THAT?

---

> Dear oh mighty 1,
>
> I was wondering if u could make a few more adjustment for the game which is to give more updates for the non-members and to everyday give at least 100 coins to everyone in the game, I would also ask if u can raise my att and def 10 lvl higher. I am forever urs.
>
> from ur mgihty servent
> Acollodude

Yes. Well.
Why don''t I just set everyones level to 99 and give everyone full rune while I''m at it? Then theres no need to even play the game anymore.
It takes a rare suggestion to make Holy Saradomin resort to sarcasm, you should feel honoured.

---

> Saradomin,
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I have long sience been a follower of you on runescape. I would like to mention that my RS file is consistently being hacked and i dont know how or by who. Anger overwhelms me when i realize this. I have lost many rare items (including 3 party hats and 12 million k in cash etc.) i always know my recovery and pw and now have always been changing them. I have thought of quitting many times but i decided to e-mail about this problem. Is there any way possible that you can help me , as i dont know what to do and i would really appreciate some help.
> Thank you

*Lorec21*

My best advice would be to read [THIS GUIDE ON PREVENTING HACKING](#TODO) and follow its instructions well. I would also recommend not using words written as in dictionaries as your password, but instead replacing a few letters with numbers.

Combining both of these pieces of advice should ensure your character lives securely.

---

I have spoken at some length now, so I should be getting back to my daily duties, but I have just enough time to answer a few quick queries I have received:

Princemarcus asks:*"I wonder if we would be able to contact this lesser known god, zaros"*
To which I say: Speak not of Zaros. Mention not his name, nor discuss him. Some things are better left unknown.

*"i think monk bones should give more prayer xp that normal bones."* - Apocalypse1
I think killing my followers would make me favour you less, not more.

*"Hi, I think there sould at least be 1 new quest for runscape."*
So do I. Oh look, one just got released. How lucky.

*"Hi I was wondering when the next Halloween will be in rune scape and is there any more times that u give out free items.?"*
Halloween is usually at the end of October, and along with Easter and Christmas sometimes gives players presents from the Council.
You shouldn''t necessarily expect to receive any gifts however. the council are frequently absent minded.

Redk99 says: *"I need a map of some kind that shows me where I am in the world."*
Perhaps [THIS PAGE](#TODO) will be of interest to you?

iamblh3 complains *"I hate the new fatigue.I`m cursed by it from just walking and picking things up."*
I think you should see an apothecary as soon as possible for you apparently have a medical condition that no-one else has.
And stay away from me, I''m a busy deity and can''t afford to be slowed down with mystery illnesses.

*"I have been trying to find a place where I can get your holy symbol blessed"* - GoatGod05
I suggest you go and speak to Brother Jered at the monastery, he is always keen on assisting those wishing to spread my glories across the land by wearing my symbol.

lightsilver asks *"Is it true that runescape is updating to 3D?"*
Yes, yes it is. I suggest you check the News & Updates section of the site a little more regularly...

*"we where hoping that you would make an update that allows crafters to make gold coins from gold bars"* - bite9611111
Forgery is a serious crime, and only those coins minted by the respective Fief are legal tender. If forgery were not a serious crime here on RuneScape the economy would surely have been destroyed by a certain spell known as high level alchemy by now...

---

And so I must leave you once more my friends. Live true, live honest, live well.

<p class="rsc-centre-text">Strength through wisdom,</p>
<span style="margin-left:16px;">Saradomin</span>

*DISCLAIMER: The views of Saradomin do not reflect the views of Jagex Ltd or it''s employees. We tried to stop him saying anything controversial, but he is a god.*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (15,1062133200,'Zamorak speaks his mind once more','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Zamorak speaks his mind once more</h2>

<a href="/images/zamorak.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/zamorak.jpg" align="left" /></a>
**ZAMORAK, LORD OF EVIL, AND MASTER OF SARCASM, RETURNS TO ANSWER SOME LETTERS SENT TO HIM.**
**OR NOT ANSWER AS THE CASE MAY IN FACT BE.**
**ISSUES OF INTEREST THIS MONTH INCLUDE: ZAMORAKS POPULARITY WITH THE LADIES, HIS OPINION ON PIE, AND A HITHERTO UNKNOWN PURPLE MONSTER SOMEWHERE IN THE WILDERNESS...**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

Hello once again loyal Zamorakians!
I know how dull these letters pages have been getting recently, what with Guthix''s bizarre rantings and whinings, and Saradomins self-righteous complaining, but once more I return, to spread a little cheer, and a lot of fear, to those who seek my advice, and some who don''t!

As tales of a powerful force reshaping the land grow stronger with each passing week, more and more of you RuneScape inhabitants begin to turn to the only god you can rely on to stand up to a challenge with a sword, not words... So let''s see what issues have been burdening the minds of the general populace this month...

---

> dear really evil dude,
> i was just wondering why burying bones increases your prayer level.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>yours unsinserely,</em><br /><em>cool dude100</em></p>

Saradomin deals with prayers, so when you give dead creatures / people an honourable burial in his name it makes him pay closer attention to you, and help you out in little ways that Guthix won''t notice.

Personally, I think when you kill something you should just take its bones and trade them for something decent. Like a sword, which will help you get MORE bones.

Or just, you know, drop them in mud and pour bad wine over them or something. Just to annoy Saradomin.

Saradomin is very amusing when annoyed. It heartens me no end.

---

> 1. Do u like to kill newbies as a sport?
> 2. Is it fun making big headed ppl die in the wildy
> 3. Do u like pie?
> 4. Who is your favoutrite brother?
> 5. Do u get payed for being evil and creul?
>
> PLease answer these 5 questions.
>
> Always loving the pain and suffering u bring to other ppl

*Sir.Inge*

1. Yep!
2. Yep!
3. Yep - but not as much as Thurgo does! That dwarf really loves pies!
4. Sometimes I can kind of tolerate Guthix when he''s in a bad mood and killing stuff.
He''s less annoying than that old fool Saradomin that''s for sure. I still wouldn''t say he''s exactly my ''favorite'' though.
5. Nope! And even if I DID, I''d do it for free anyway. It''s my idea of fun!

---

> WHO IN THE NINE HELLS MAKES THE PICTURES FOR YOUR LETTERS!?!? The graphical aids to your letters apply to exceedingly random subjects. I mean, surely creating these pictures manually would prove to be a task too dull even for Guthix the Lame. Pardon my tone, but I MUST know!
> -Void Sabre

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/artist-table.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/artist-table.jpg" /></a></p>

I have a talented yet alcoholic lesser demon who does most of it for me.
He''ll draw me anything I tell him for a bottle of Draynor Malt - you''ll find most artists are the same.

---

> I''m wondering, do u support scammers? not that i am one of course, im the exact opposite. i lead the runescape wide group known as the hunters. we are dedicated to catching and reporting scammers. when on active duty, i can report up t0 20 scammers in a few days. i know ur evil, but if u do, how can u support scammers? they are the lowest of the low, they''re scum. just a warning. if any scammers are reading this feel my words: ''anticipation of being reported, is worse than being reported itself''........
> the lead hunter,
> Proassasin

Pffffft... ''Scammers''.....
I don''t like ''scammers'' because they''re whiney little liars who are too sissy to go out and kill stuff to get rich like a \*TRUE\* Zamorakian would do.
Lure them out to a nice little spot in the wilderness and show them the business end of your favorite weaponry (A lot of fun) or (as useless as the Council are) the report abuse button is a good option too.

People like that give evil a bad name, you know!

---

> Dear Zamorak:
> I am a story teller, a word tailor, a speaker of tales. I tell some stories of hope and glory, but mostly death and destruction are the players in my works. Is there anyway that I could give my works to the librarian, so I might strike fear into all that decide to pick up one of my short stories. Making them once afraid of the dark, as they were when they were children.
>
>  Respectively Yours,

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Ghost_Haunt </em></p>

Writing stuff sounds a bit too sissy to me... are you sure you''re not a Saradominist trying to trick me?
Then again, putting the fear of Zamorak into little children does sound quite tempting...

I guess I can lay off torturing Reldo with little ''accidents'' for a bit if you have any PARTICULARLY spooky stuff to honour me with. I believe you can however send your stories to Reldo.

But I''m not sure when he will next update his library. He tends to have a lot of ''unfortunate accidents'' happen to him, particularly when I''m rather bored...

---

> Dear Zamorak,
> I''ve heard rumurs of a demon in the wilderness that if you walk pass him he dosent attak you then gives 100k is this true. Please answer me o great zamorak.

*Yours untruly galdar780*

...oh yeah. That sounds real likely doesn''t it?
It''s the magical mauve money-dropping monster!
You can find him right in the middle of the wilderness, but you can only find it if you''re carrying lots of stuff worth pking for... uh, I mean lots of stuff to ''attract it''.
Yeah... attract it... that''s right. Would I lie to you?

---

 Dear Zamorak

> I Would like the thank you for creating the sleeping bags and new pick axes. It makes mining and smithing for higher lvl people not as hard. I do have a few questions tough.
> Do you think we could ever make silver armor of gold armor?
> Do you think you will ever allow us to buy houses?
> Do you think you will ever allow us to own our own farm?
> Do you think you will create horses for our worlds?
> Thanks for your time
> remember Chaos is good
> Krispy007

1. maybe
2. maybe
3. maybe
4. maybe

Hope that cleared that up for you.

---

> DEAR ZAMORAK,
> MY NAME IS DEADLYPOE I HAVE BEEN IN THE RUNESCAPE WORLD FOR 1 1/2 YEARS AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD SPARE SOME MONEY THANKS

*DEADLYPOE*

> PS ASGARNIA IS BETTER THAN MISTHALIAN

...Yeah, you and that other guy should both go looking for the money dropping monster in the wilderness together.
Don''t forget: bring lots of stuff with you!

Oh, and for future reference? The ''Caps Lock'' key is on the left hand side of the keyboard.

---

> hello, I think that in the wild you should not be allowed to run from other players when they are beating you.I say this because one time, in the wild I attacked a player with full rune and I was beating him really badly. Then he ran away like a coward, and since players run at exactly the same speed, I could not catch him and I missed out on some good stuff. I was really upset and he teased me from outside the wild, and as a god of evil I think you should change this.Dr.Dre rapp

Yeah, sissy cowards who run away from a fight REALLY annoy me... (you just KNOW they''re Saradominists, even if they say they''re not...) so if I have my way I''m going to try and sneak in a little surprise for people who try and run from a fight while loaded up with loot into Guthixs'' little world update.

If he doesn''t notice me trying to sneak it in anyway...

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/dark-knight-running.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/dark-knight-running.jpg" /></a></p>

---

> hi zamorak i need rune 2-handed.i bless you god zamorak.i am oll10 from runescape.pleas zamorak i need your help.

*oll10*

Whats up with this? Why do people think I care about them enough to give them stuff?
Go with those other guys looking for that monster. Take plenty of stuff.
I GUARANTEE even if you don''t find the monster someone will give you a Rune 2 hander. Blade first. You''ll get a free teleport to Lumbridge too.

---

> Dear Zamorak, I think you should have a new option on runescape for sheep appearing not has attack sheep but.....hug sheep i mean who wouldnt want to hug a sheep! I bet even you with as much evil as you have would love to hug a sheep. They are so cute and fluffy. Hugging a sheep should make your prayer level go up. Please make hug a sheep available.

I feel physically ill.
I really hate sheep.
I don''t know whether its their stupid fluffy white bodies, their ugly stupid faces, the annoying idiotic noises they make as you walk near them, or Guthix''s unhealthy love for them.
I REALLY HATE sheep.

---

> O mighty Zamorak, I have heard much talk of thieves that continue to steal your wine. As one of your most loyal followers i vowed to use my powers and my full rune to kill these people who have commited this inexcusable crime, but try as i may i cannot find the location of the wine and the thieves as it is not charted on the runescape map. Could you please tell me the location and if it is possible to get to it in the free version of Runescape. Thank you O Mighty One.

*Daleks.*

Yeah, what do you take me for? Do you think I was born last century? I''m not telling you where to steal my wine from.
I''M SICK OF PEOPLE STEALING MY WINE!

---

> Dear Zamorak,
>
> You''ve got a kid named Iban. Who''s your wife?

*-Katjandra*

I''m not married.
If you''re asking who his mother is, I can''t remember.
The ladies love Zamorak, and its kind of hard to keep track of them all sometimes.

---

> Oh, Zamorak! I just love how you wreak havoc among people, it''s just so...evil. But although I''d like to ramble on about dastardly deeds, I bring you to the big question...
> Zamorak, will you marry me?!!
>
> Your future lover,

*Atomic Grrl*

see what I mean?

---

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/grave-scene.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/grave-scene.jpg" /></a></p>

> hello zamorak, my screen name in runescape is tahnok113 and i just want you to know that zaros has emerged from deep under the earth to destroy you...
>
> ..Ok that''s it -- a warning...

 Za-zaros?

...Ok, thats not funny. Don''t. Just don''t. I''m not scared of anyone ok? Zaros is gone.
So don''t lie to me ok? He''s gone, and I''m not scared of him even if he isn''t.

HE''S DEAD.

Not scared. Not even worried. At all. DEFINITELY not. Seriously. Anyone who says I got lucky last time is just a dirty liar.
Hah, you''re just playing a trick on old Zamorak right? Right? Because I''m not scared at all.
So don''t try and scare me like that, because it WON''T work.
I''m totally not scared.

---

> Dear The really evil god thingy
>
> Hey zamorak, one question, Boxers or Briefs???
>
> From Babrook44067

one answer: commando.

---

> Hello oh nutbrain zamorak, its pleasure to kill ur noobie monks and steal ur wine... accualy i have 30 jugs of ur wine what CANT BE USED FOR ANYTHING! and... i know a clan what TOTALLY hates u.... wanna know who is the boss of that clan..? ME!!! SANDROMIN RULEZ! SANDROMIN RULEZ! SANDROMIN RULEZ! ZAMORAK SUCKS! ZAMORAK SUCKS! ZAMORAK SUCKS! oh one thing, if ya own all those zombies, skeletons, giants and hobgoblin in those dungeons, i love killin em and if ya dont im still love killing em! there are only 2 things i love more than them... ITS KILLING UR PERFETIC MONKS AND STEALING UR WINE (what u dont like i think, AND THATS GOOD!) once again, SANDROMIN RULEZZZZZ!!!! and u, you SUCK! ps. I deffenetly HATE u. slayer

I''m sure ''Sandromin'' (whoever they are) will be thrilled to hear they have a new groupie.

Seriously, whats up with all of you obsessing about my wine?

---

> dear oh great zamorak im tryin to buy a bloomin santa hat but people are selling them for 100k what the hell!!! they are worth 25k according to this runescape tips website. are they 100k or are thy 25k answer my question please???

*deathbob*

They''re worth whatever people are foolish enough to pay for them.
Silly coloured cloth hat vs large nearly unstoppable killing blade with which to smite your enemies - I mean, come on, which do you *REALLY* want to carry around with you?

What are you gonna do when you''re in a fight?
Shout ''Ho-Ho-Ho'' and hope they run away?
Blind them with the horrible colour of the thing on your head?

---

And so my time draws near, and once more I must grab my trusty bloodied axe and bring more foul creatures to this world to torment the Saradominists and Guthixians with... and of course I always need time to do a little experimenting to see if yet more creatures hitherto unseen can be safely brought to RuneScape... so until next we speak loyal subjects

Strength through chaos-

<strong style="color:#f00;margin-left:16px;">Zamorak</strong>

*DISCLAIMER: The views of Zamorak do not reflect the views of Jagex Ltd or it''s employees. We''d ban him, but he''s a god.*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (16,1064898000,'Guthix Dispels Rumours','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Guthix Dispels Rumours</h2>

<a href="/images/guthix.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/guthix.jpg" align="right" /></a>
**GUTHIX, PERHAPS THE MOST ENIGMATIC AND MISUNDERSTOOD DEITY OF RUNESCAPE, RETURNS ONCE AGAIN TO DISPEL SOME OF THE MORE COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS AND RUMOURS, ANSWER A FEW QUERIES, AND PERHAPS EVEN REVEAL SOME SECRETS OF THE HISTORY OF RUNESCAPE...**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

I hath been roused from mine slumber once more by the clamouring for knowledge of the subjects of mine world, and as such feel duty bound to respond to some of these queries.

---

> oh sideless one,
> many roumers have been floting about your land tell of what might come next in the evilotion of Runescape. I was hoping that you would seperat the lies from the truth
>
> roumer 1: the new engin will alow the use of camels to get around
>
> roumer 2: the new engin will have a house for every player where things can be stored
>
> roumer 3: the free servers will only get the 3-d part of the update, none of the otherstuff
> and roumer 4: the new combat system will allow you to control weapons and sheilds

Rumours are the refuge of the braggard, and the scoundrel. Put not thy faith in rumour, for often they shall deceive intentionally, and the rare occasion that they doth find the grain of truth ist not worthy of counting. I can tell thee true however, the first three rumours that thou mention are falsehoods, and the fourth, if I understand thy meaning correctly, ist already in effect upon this plane...

---

> To Whichever god Happens to be Answering Prayers:
>
> Why does Guthix exist? It has been this one''s experience that any and every god which doesn''t have followers will cease to be, yet the gods of Runescape seem to exist independently of human belief. Is there something about Runescape itself that allows this, or is it the gods themselves?

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Vkand</em></p>

Thy assumption is mostly correct noble philosopher; most gods mayst not stay long on a plane where their existence ist not demanded by followers.
Just speaking the name of a god canst give them power enough to enter this plane, and with followers then they mayst remain.

I am not most gods however; mine power is drawn from the land, from the seas, from the plants and trees, from the very essences of life that dwell here. This is why I neither seek nor demand loyalty from mine followers, for my power is not that of belief, but of life.
The only thing that couldst disrupt mine energies wouldst be the extinction of all life upon this realm, in which case I wouldst be forced from this realm to find another. I would never allow such an abomination against balance to occur here.

---

> Dear Guthix,
>
> I am one of the few players of Runescape who are actually not looking forward to the update. I use the incredibly powerful operating system we mortals call OS X (10.2.6 to be exact). I am worried that the update might only be available to the misguided majority of users using the bloated operating system know as "Windows". Can you tell me if I be barred form playing Runescape because I choose to be productive on my computer?
>
> Trah88

I hath good news for thee, for the strength of the language known as Java is that it doth operate upon its own structure, so that it is universally understood by all, no matter what their native language may be.
Thus it is that a man known as Windows may speak happily with a man known as Macintosh, by speaking in Java, despite each being born knowing a different language. It is a universal language for all; this is one of it''s major strengths.

---

> Can you please add a new link to your homepage it would be named fan art.
> I think a lot of people have made pictures of runescape and they would like to let others see what they have done.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/lesser.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/lesser.jpg" /></a></p>

*Your fan ints99*

All gods are followers of the aesthetic virtues, and as such we will be honoured to receive artwork of talent. Thou mayst send thy work to the usual address...
The chances of its publication in our letters responses is purely dependent upon our appreciation of its'' quality of course...

---

> Oh mighty gods of Runescape,
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Are there ever going to be any races other than humans on Runescape? It would be nice to see some variety in the world like elves, dwarfs, or even goblins. Also is the name of the entire land Runescape or what?

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Ever Neutral</em><br /><em>link2910</em></p>

This realms name is in truth Gielinor, yet is called RuneScape in the common tongue by it''s inhabitants. Each kingdom hath its'' own name such as Misthalin, Asgarnia, and so forth.
I also feel obliged to point out that the races thou hast mentioned are all currently in residence upon this realm, along with many more lesser known species such as the Skavid...

---

> Oh imortal lord of neutralness,
>
> Why is it that you can only choose your carecter at the bigining of the game? Could you, oh mighty lord, put a place in the world to change a persons hair, clothe, skin and gender? Please?
>
> Your humble devotee

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Atlan</em></p>

There is a mage who hath dedicated his life to the study of the morphogenic field which makes up thy physical form, and on magicks to allow him to alter it, for a small fee.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/make-over-mage.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/make-over-mage.jpg" /></a></p>

I believe he is more commonly referred to as the ''makeover mage'', and a visit to him, along with the required fee, shall reap the dividends which thou seek.

---

> Is this a trick Guthix and Zammorac are either 2 dif people or it came in mind that indead they are the same person. I have 2 reason proving that they are both the same person.
>
> 1. They both type very similar kinda odd
> 2. They both dont use spell check so it could realy be one person miss spelling,how old are you? any 4th grader could spell wouldnt like wouldnt not like you guthix u spelt it as wouldst.
>
> My advise to you is to learn to spell or i will worship something else, someone with a highschool education would be nice to worship, so come on learn to spell

*~TRIPP N FLIPP*

My **advice** to thee wouldst be to be certain of thine own spelling before scurrilously and slanderously attacking the errors of another.
Especially given that such errors do not in fact exist.
Indeed, pedanticism is only effective when thou art correct.

---

> Hi great guthix,
> I was wondering if there are any more gods other then you,Saradomin,and Zamorak.and if there are who are they and what are they all about. Oh, and will we ever be able to read about the history of runescape in the library.
> your follower,
> darkking414

There are at least twenty deities who didst force themselves upon this realm whilst I slumbered, Saradomin and Zamorak are the two who hath most prominence amongst the general populace.

As to thy query regarding the histories of the library, I hath knowledge that such an addition is indeed planned, but treacherous Zamorak takes strange delight in the torture of the man responsible, Reldo.
This puzzles me greatly, for he hath never struck me as anything more than a mild mannered creature devoted solely to the studies of scholarship.

---

> Tell me... you claim to be the god the represents balance, like in neutrality. And you name is Guthix. But from the moment you have a name, you aren''t neutral anymore. In the last letter you told zidane\_909 : "I am beyond good or evil, I am simply Guthix." That''s means you chose or like the name yourself. So you aren''t neutral, because you favor something.
>
> Maybe I am wrong because I am not a god and therefore not smart enough to understand,
> Forgive me for that
> Follower of the allmighty Saradomin, Hypnosis

A name means nothing other than the meaning that ist placed upon it.
Mine name means nothing in of itself; it is simply the closest thing to my true name that ist possible in the language of man.
To pronounce mine true name correctly I wouldst have to remove thy vocal cords.

---

> oh mighty ones in the sky,
> i have been wondering several things.
> how many letters do each of you get every day?
> and would you ever consider all three of you posting a letter together?
> and finely if i may ask... how do you feel about clowns?
>
> a follower of the gods
> Lord Duckman

Each god receives questions in the magnitude of hundreds daily, and usually more directly following the publication of their responses.
Although many are received and all are read, only a few are selected for response - thou will probably be glad to know, for thou art known to us as a quizzical thinker Lord Duckman, and although thy many questions are not necessarily answered, they all reach their destination.

As to thy query regarding the co-operation of Saradomin and Zamorak with myself upon a letters response, I fear that making the two arch-enemies co-operate upon anything, even something as minor as responding to their followers, is a task beyond even my powers...
...and I personally find clowns to be unfunny bufoons who willst degrade their lives for an attempt at a cheap laugh; but I am not known for my sense of humour.

---

> Dear Guthix,
> When you revamp runescape, will all the places be different, like will the world map be the same? It would take a lot of time to get used to a completely new runescape. many people would quit. The result of making to many massive changes would be a long time without revenue.
>
> Your follower,

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Coolpitcher</em></p>

The world shall remain the same, yet will also be changed. Continents, seas, rivers, mountains and cities shall remain similar to their existing selves, yet shall be different enough to briefly disorient those who rely on existing landmarks for direction.
I hath already claimed the restoration of this world will be total, from each blade of grass, to the highest mountain - and my claim was not made with exaggeration.

---

> Guthix,
>
> Truly you are a mighty god, but I am quite confused. In his first letters, Sardomin said that HE created Runescape. In your first letter (thankfully I got to hear from the third god) though, you said YOU created Runescape. Who is puffing themselves up, and who is lying, I wonder? I used to be a follower of Sardomin, but now I doubt my ways. Am I to be a follower of you, of Zamorak, or stay the way I am? Or to be an atheist? Or is that the way of Guthix (to be atheist)? And how would I know if YOU were the one puffing himself up?... :\ Meep. My head hurts now.

*-Blast-chan*

I claim not the creation of Gielinor; I claim it''s rightful ownership, for none other dwelled here when first I arrived.
I knowst not why Saradomin would claim otherwise, other than in a bid for glory, for all other gods came to this plane whilst I slumbered.

---

> Greeting o'' wise and powerful Guthix,
>
> I wouldst like to ask thee some questions concerning the dwarves, and their mine. ''Twas my understanding that dwarven smiths were the greatest in all runescape, and that their skill in metalworking was rivaled only by their fondness of being alone. These facts dist lead me to wonder, where is their furnace? Surely they do not journey all the way to Falador merely to smelt the ore that they so diligently mine, and trek back again to hammer it? If that is indeed the case then they canst turn themselves invisible for I have never seen one in the city. I understand that it would be too easy to train smithing if all citizens of runescape had access to dwarven furnaces, but could they not be persuaded to grant us use if we completed a quest for them?

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em> A bewildered smith,</em><em>Dracomancer</em></p>

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/dwarf-superheat-item.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/dwarf-superheat-item.jpg" /></a></p>

Dwarves learn the magick known as ''superheat item'' at a young age, for it removes the uncertainty involved with smelting ores in the more conventional manner, and doth improve their productivity.

As such they hath no need for furnaces.

---

> Dear Guthix,
> My account was banned for advertising, but i didnt advertise anything, my little brother did with my account and now im banned :( I told customer support about this but they didnt hear. What should i do? My bro did a little prank and now im in tears... Please help me, oh mighty one!

*Cyrax14*

I wouldst advise thee to take heed of the councils'' warnings regarding character sharing.
They are placed prominently for a reason, and to ignore them is to gamble with thy RuneScape life.

---

> dear holy and unholy one,
>
> two quick questions.
> 1. in the intrest of balance, do you do everything, or nothing?
> 2. is your name pronounced guh-thicks or goo-thicks? it''s gotten really annoying... or should i just accept both in the intrest of balance?
>
> thank you,
> mase windu

I do anything and everything necessary to maintain balance - it is a far more time consuming occupation than might first be considered.

As to thy second question, my true name is not pronouncable by human form, yet it''s closest approximation in the language of man is ''guh-thicks''.

---

> Guthix, it''s clear that the Druids follow you and your philosophy of balance (if it can be called a philosophy rather than a lack of one...confusing).
> But what about Chaos Druids? The beastiary informs me that they follow the dual philosophies of you and Zamorak, but I''m a bit unclear on how that would be possible. Neutral, but not neutral? Evil, but not evil? What''s your thoughts?

*Haldir2012*

 The chaos druids acknowledge mine position as the eldest and most powerful deity, and still strive for my ultimate aim of balance upon this land; but unlike the more passive actions taken by their non-chaotic brethren, they take an active role in culling this land of the more prolific species which inhabit it.

Man is the most prolific race that dwelleth upon this realm, and it is mankind that they take most pleasure in dispatching.
This is also an aim of Zamoraks, and so they doth serve two masters through striving for this one goal.

---

> Dear Guthix,
>
> How can you stand to not choose between good or evil? Doesn''t it get boring being neutral all the time? Do Zamorak and Saradomin ever get mad at you for not supporting either of them? (Not that Saradomin would get mad at anyone) I just don''t see how you can take it.
>
> Just wondering,

*Mr. Beef Wellington*

> P.S. Do you have to talk so wierd?? I can barely understand you!

I am balance, not neutrality - neutrality doth suggest inaction, when the oposite is the truth. I willst take ANY action necessary to ensure balance upon mine plane, and as such, mine actions canst be deemed to be good or evil depending on howst they affect thee. In truth, they are neither - they art merely necessary.

As to the ''weirdness'' of mine language: the language of man is not native to myself, and hast changed greatly since last I had use for it.
I canst not express myself clearer than this, for thine language is both alien and strange to me.

---

> Almighty gods... I have roamed the lands of runescape for serveral years now and have fought valiantly against all monsters i happened to encounter. I''ve hit from ''0'' to ''29'' but i''ve never ''missed'' a single hit... i instead hit a 0... how is it that i am so accurate in my hitting that i never miss the monsters? i must agree that this makes me see this world as undeveloped. It vexes me to see that i never miss... though i quite like not missing... it is quite unrealistic....
> i hope that this may be an update for the new engine....

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Follower of all gods....</em></p>
<p class="rsc-right-text"><em>- -=Sir Flutezzz=-</em></p>

I beg to differ with thy experience in combat.
Often do I see skilled warriors attack each other, yet hit at a bad angle and provide merely a glancing blow that causes no damage, or have their attack slighted due to armour: rarely do I see a warrior with any weapons training utterly miss an opponent at close range...

---

> Dear Allmighty Guthix,
>
> I have been wondering why do the Strange Walking Clothes located in the lost city, Drop Bones when killed. Isnt it a bit Strange that a magical lifeform with no bones can drop such items. I am sure with your great knowledge, that you will be able to answer my question and that there will be a perfectly good explaination.

*From No1Stoney, (A Very Confused Player)*

The beings that thou speak of are not wholly tied to this realm; they flitter between the dimensions like butterflies across a meadow. When thou slay them, thou force their remains into one dimension alone; this one.

As long as they are alive they canst remain incorporeal, but once their fate hast been decided and they hath died they canst no longer travel between realms as they could when they were alive.

---

> hi guthy i was just wonderin y u got wires sticken outa ur skull. o yah and y does gypsy want u 2 help me kill delrith?i can do it by myself cuz i can kill a deadly red spider and its stronger than delrith so dont help me:)
>
> hope u can control zomarak bye

They art tendrils, not ''wires'' - and I require them.
As to your boasts of your battle prowess being great enough to defeat the terrible Delrith without mine assistance, I say to you: drop thy Silverlight, for it is a sword endowed with power by myself.
Then perhaps thou willst see the assistance which hath been offered to thee.

---

I hath just enough time to answer a few quick questions, for maintaining the balance of this world is a time-consuming job.

tyy32 asks *"Why are the magic runes used only once per rune?"* - Each rune is a man made stone which hath been endowed with a magical charge, yet just enough charge for one use only.

~Bryan00~ says that *"andrew has too much imagination"* to which I respond: ''Tis better to have a surplus than a deficit is it not?

The Fuzz200 enquires *"When the new grapics come out can you equip fishing items?(i.e. fishing rods)"* - I can assure thee that such is indeed the case.

an anonymous request *"Hey guthix where would i download runescape?"*;
If thou meanst the client, I am assured that what thou art looking for is located [HERE](#TODO).

Tc Olam would like a clarification as to whether or not *"this rumour that masks increase your levels by 10 depending on colour is true?"* - my response is that this is a baseless rumour.
One of far too many, unfortunately.

"B.I." would like to know *"Will monsters have the ability to cast spells or shoot at us?"*
Most assuredly... it is a necessary balance to counter that they may now be swarmed by a mob...

---

And so my time draws to a close. Until such time as I impart my wisdom once again,

<p class="rsc-centre-text">Balance Is Power-</p>
<strong style="color:#008000;margin-left:16px;">Guthix</strong>

*DISCLAIMER: The views of Guthix do not reflect the views of Jagex Ltd or it''s employees. We tried to prevent him giving away our secrets, but he is a god.*
');
INSERT INTO "god_letters" VALUES (17,1067407200,'Saradomin Speaks Once More','<h2 class="rsc-centre-text">Saradomin Speaks Once More</h2>

<a href="/images/saradomin.png"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/saradomin.png" align="left" /></a>
**SARADOMIN, LORD OF ORDER, KEEPER OF PEACE, AND SCOURGE OF EVIL BRINGS FORTH WISDOM TO HIS FOLLOWERS ONCE MORE.**
**POPULAR TOPICS THIS TIME INCLUDE NEW PRAYERS, RIDDLES TO TAX A DEITY, AND THE MYSTERY OF THE LOCATIONS OF BANKS...**

<div style="clear:both"></div>

Hello once more glorious Saradominists!
It seems an age since last I imparted my great wisdoms to you all... and with all the fuss being made about the upgrade that will shortly befall the world, I simply had to respond to my faithfuls'' pleas before it occurred!
So what have been the topics that have been burning in my followers hearts since last I spoke to you all?
Let us see...

---
> Dear Wise Saradomin,
> I am one of the paladins created in your honor which utilize the prayer which you most graciously grant us in order to help others while at the same time using weapons. I was wondering if when the miracle which will allow us to see eachother in three dimensions occurs, will we be granted more prayers to use?

*Signed, Raistlin7000*

The change that is slowly descending upon this world will affect all aspects of the game... prayer included.
Those of sufficient prayer level will almost certainly be pleasantly surprised when first they see what prayers they may soon utilise.

---

> Dear Saradomin
> reading through your most recent newsletter, i have noticed that you are being uncharacteristically sarcastic.. its almost bordering on being spiteful! As i am not you, and do not know the true nature of these comments, nor do i know if you are intentionally being this way, for you may havejust been having a bad day, however; is there a reason for this change of personality? I find it most unbecoming of most men, let alone a god.
>
> (insert stereotypical ending sentence),

*krazyck*

You are indeed astute for a mortal... my previous bad temper was as a result of a childish prank that the fiendish Zamorak had played upon me, shortly before I made my responses to my followers.
I do not wish to dwell upon the details, but the smell of rotting fish still disturbs mine senses.
Regardless, I am as full of love for humanity as I was before, and back to my usual good humoured self.
Just please mention not mackerel in my presence for some time.

---

<a href="/images/pub.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/pub.jpg" align="left" /></a>

> To the greatest god of all,
>
> Saradomin, when I go to sell something to the General Store, the shopkeepers always seem to have money on their hands. How is this possible? Is the Shopkeeper actually a multi millionaire in disguise? How do they make all that money? Please answer this plea.
>
> Your most loyal follower,
> Legenocide

Most shopkeepers make a very good living from the day to day sale of small and insignificant items such as pots, buckets and hammers, which they buy in bulk and then sell individually for extremely healthy mark ups - yet all shop keepers dream of the famous day when a party hat was sold to them for a mere 2 gold.

There were many rounds of drinks on THAT shopkeeper at the merchants'' guild that night, let me assure you.

<div style="clear:both"></div>

---

> here is a little fun for the best god goin
>
> pretend you are a bus driver there 10 people on the bus
> at the first bus stop:
> 10 people get on named bill
> 1 person gets off name sal
>
> at the 2nd bus stop:
> 5 people get on named sal
> 11 get off called bill
>
> at the 3rd bus stop:
> 17 people get on called bill
>
> 13 get off called sal
>
> waht is the bus drivers name?

Well, I''m slightly surprised you used your chance to contact me with a childish riddle, but the answer is that the driver would be the same at the end of the journey as he was at the start.

In other words, the driver would still be the glorious Saradomin - but I have a question of my own for you;

What exactly is a ''bus''?

---

> Lately i have heard of an item called "Superheat Item"...... I heard that it makes you able to get iron bars 100% of the time when smelting. Thank you saradomin

Um... you''re welcome? It is actually a magic, not an item, but useful nonetheless.

---

> dear saradomin,
> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;why isnt there a bank in lumbridge?...lumbrdige is one of the big and populated cities (although their all newbies) but even so there should be a bank there...alot of newbies die in scorpion mines, darkwizards, highwayman and lose close to all their belongings before they could reach a bank...low lvl newbies cant get to a bank without being attacked by something and so there should be a bank of lumbridge like near the farms or somewhere like that...

*Your almost faithful follower, mage girl 89*

Cost cutting exercises by the First National Bank of RuneScape meant many branch closures of the smaller, local banks some years back.
It is somewhat unfortunate, but all newcomers from Tutorial Island have access to a bank before reaching the mainland, where they can ensure their meagre posessions are secure, and the large town of Varrock which is but a small journey from Lumbridge has not one but two large branches of the bank, available for all.

---

> Dear Saradomin,
>
> I have many question, but I can understand that you don''t have much time. One of the questions are, when the big 3d update come up, well you be able to some items from another when other players have them equiped. Ex. Will you be able to tell if someone has a 2hander from a long sword or a dagger? Or a Kite sheild from a square sheild? Another question will is will a ring ever be used? I see no use in them. You cannot wear them, or use them for anything important. Also, I am sure that you know Andrew? I am not trying to be mean in this way, but sometime''s it seems that he has favorism for the higher level people? It just came up in a discussion with my friend, Psycho39k. I think everyone should be treated equally. Sorry for any problems.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><em>Thank you very much,</em></p>
<p class="rsc-right-text"><em>Blood Dragon</em></p>

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/ring.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/ring.jpg" /></a></p>

I have good news for you, for in the new version of the world you can indeed see exactly what weaponry and armour another player is wearing, for each will look different enough to be obvious at a glance. Similarly, You will also be able to wear any rings that you choose to.
I also agree that everyone should be treated equally, and can assure you the Mage Andrew does not favour higher leveled players over others.

He hates you all, and tries to make all your lives equally miserable... just kidding! Andrew, please punish not my followers in retaliation!

---

> oh great saradomin, this is one of the many lost souls that wanders in runescape i am deaply troubled that i cant reach ardougne for i wish to obtain a higher thieving lvl how ever there are only 3 ways to ardougne and each is highly difficult my magic lvl is far too low for me to teleport whilt i am too weak to cross white wolf mountain i cannot get very far thruogh the wilderness because i am aways pked oh please mighty saradomin answer this e-mail with how i might reach ardougne and percivere to the land of whitch i dream i wish to remain annonymous because other runesapians will make fun of my low attk and strengh
>
> yours truely a very faithful follower
>
> (ps, i sent this message twice so i could correct a number of spelling mistakes)

If you can find some kind soul to escort you past the dangers of White Wolf mountain the first time, you will find a shortcut through the dwarven passages that will save you from being harrassed by the dangers of the mountain afterwards.
He may of course require some small favour in return for access to this passage...

Alternatively, you may prefer to take the pleasant scenic route by boat to Karamja, and then transfer to take the equally picturesque boat journey from Brimhaven back to the mainland.

<p class="rsc-centre-text"><a href="/images/ship.jpg"><img class="rsc-image" src="/images/ship.jpg" /></a></p>

Tours operate daily, and I believe are very reasonably priced for such a popular cruise.

---

> Oh Great Lord, I Have been Recently Wondering If there will be a Tutorial Each Player is Required to Go through, even if you Have been playing for a while, just to Familiarize yourself with the new Games control, and if this isnt available it May be a good Idea to do so, For some people may get easily confused, and then give up, becoming frustrated, and quiting the game.
>
> A Faithful Follower,
> Scion Blade

You will almost certainly be glad to hear that the ever popular, and exceedingly useful, Tutorial Island will remain in place after the upgrade, for all newcomers to the world of RuneScape to gain some knowledge of the land before being set loose upon the general populace.
For those who are already wise to the ways of the world of RuneScape, they will not find the control system so different as to be unfamiliar to them, and should be able to re-adjust themselves very quickly to the new scheme of things.

---

> Great and powerful Saradomin (i spelt your name correctly) I was wondering if you could fix somthing that has been bugging me. every time i die i keep the fatigue that i had beforehand, and it annoys me to no end to be searching for a bed after i loose my sleepingbag. please try to fix this. your loyal follower
> Nom Anor1

I could see how this could be an annoyance... if there were not an abundance of beds contained within Lumbridge.
Regaining fatigue is but a short matter of gaining some quick rest.

---

> To the god Saradomin,
> Being an unmitigable pedant, I recently noted that you had made a spelling error in response to a letter. You said (well, wrote, actually): "Yes. Well.
> Why don''t I just set everyones level to 99 and give everyone full rune while I''m at it? Then theres no need to even play the game anymore."
> Note the missing apostrophes in "everyones" and "theres."
> I apologize for being so annoying, but sometimes I really cannot help myself. Habit, you know.

*-Llun of Lhun*

As a pedant you should feel glad that I will correct you in pointing out that lack of apostrophes is an error in punctuation, not of spelling.
The mistake is, of course, not mine, for mighty Saradomin is never in error - rather it is the fault of the cheap dwarven labour employed by the Council who are responsible for typesetting and printing these responses.

So there.

---

> Dear oh great saradomin,
>
> I feel that you should be able to eat raw fish because in real life u eat sushi.

*From kidd rune2 (the noob with no money at all)*

When you eat raw fish, you eat also the environment in which that fish did live.
I think I have already warned players on the poor sanitary state of the rivers and oceans of RuneScape...

---

I have some small queries which I will answer briefly, before leaving you once more;

TKDFighter asks me *"Why can''t 2H swords have their own shop?"* - I am sure you will be glad to know that such a shop does indeed exist...
and suggest you search a little more thoroughly in future...

Obie\_Trice10 asks *"what music u like???"* - to which my only answer is that I enjoy nothing more than the Psalms and Hymns of my temples, extolling my virtues and glories for all to hear.

It is, literally, music to mine ears.

Desecration would like to know *"y r u the god of goodness?"*
Because the god of spelling, grammar and punctuation was already taken.
I don''t think he does his job very well.

*"Why is the lesser Demon in wizard tower locked up?"* asks Night Hawk04; My only reply is that it is because it would be extremely dangerous for the wizards if he was allowed to roam free.

And finally, an anonymous request would like to know *"Do you have a number that I could call?*" - No. I ABSOLUTELY do not.

---

My work here for the time being is done... and so I must depart once more.
Until next time we meet, live each day as though it were your last;
with compassion, with mercy, with honour.

<p class="rsc-centre-text">Strength through wisdom,</p>
<span style="margin-left:16px;">Saradomin</span>

*DISCLAIMER: The views of Saradomin do not reflect the views of Jagex Ltd or it''s employees. We tried to stop him saying anything controversial, but he is a god.*
');
COMMIT;