The code should conduct itself accordingly following all compiler documentations and standards. Don't pull a fast one on me. Especially on the computers of those in protected classes or other minority groups. I mean it source code! I'm watching you!
Examples of behavior that contributes to creating a positive computing environment include:
- Running on a diverse variety of platforms
- Shallow call-stack depths
- Being respectful of CPU cycles and memory usage
- Gracefully accepting ctrl+c and kill -15
- Showing useful stack traces and coherent errors
Examples of unacceptable behavior by computer programs include:
- Obtuse interfaces that make easy things hard and hard things impossible
- Code that overflows your stacks and buffalos your buffers
- Opinionated code that requires you to work around it like you're in some authoritarian hellscape
- Sexy code that runs in NSFW ways, especially in unwelcomed naughty ways
- Code that breaks for no reason whatsoever and then just starts working again
- Useless error messages that read like James Joyce and William Burroughs did acid together
- Insisting how much better it would be if only we installed your phone app
Project maintainers (that's me!) have the right and responsibility to take weekend bingers
if code is not aligned to this Conduct of Code and desperately type in git commit -a
while totally sloshed after tossing office equipment (for instance; pencils and notepads)
at the computer while cursing all those who came before as hapless arrogant architects
of our collective toilsome nightmares. Why have we been condemned to such suffering?
Apparently someone's ability to do a sliding window brain teaser has very low correlation with whether they can release good software.
The conduct of code applies to my computer and yours in public and in private, intimate settings, late at night, when nobody is looking and you turn off your anti-virus, log in as root and slide your laptop in home-made lingerie to have your way with it by candlelight.
We know. We all know.
Ok, I tried playing nice. One more fucking bug and I'll toss this laptop out this damn window, I swear, don't tempt me safari I've had enough of your shit.
Well let's not be too precious about that.