#173. Can borrowing money from a friend harm the friendship?
There is a popular saying that if you lend a book to a friend, you lose the book and the friend. Truer words have never been spoken. Borrowing anything, especially money, can put a high level of stress on one's friendship, and is usually not worth the pain.
The first reason why borrowing money from a friend is not a good idea is because if one forgets or does not pay back the friend, the friendship could be lost. Everyone has a busy life, and it is easy to forget details. If one borrows 100 yuan from a friend, he/she can easily forget about the situation, or perhaps even think he/she has already paid back his/her friend when he/she didn't. This, of course, leads to trouble in the relationship. The friend does not know whether to ask for the money or not, as doing so could be conceived as rude.
The lender can only wait so long before he/she believes that the borrower has forgotten about the debt. At this point, the lender will begin to ask the borrower for the money, which, as mentioned above, is an uncomfortable situation. The lender does not want to have to ask for the money back, and the borrower does not want to be reminded that he/she is indebted to someone.
Finally, asking a friend for money is a bad idea because it is possible he/she will refuse your request. For example, if a poor person befriend a rich person, the poor man might ask his/her friend for money. If the rich person would rather not lend out his/her money, he/she is put in the awkward situation of having to refuse his/her friend, which could harm the friendship.
Overall, I think it is a terrible idea to borrow money from friends, or lend money if it is requested. While we would like to think that our friendships are strong and true, in many cases, they are not. If you do lend money to a friend, perhaps it is best not to expect to be repaid. By treating the situation like this, one will not be upset if a friend does not return the money, and will have a pleasant surprise if the money is repaid.
173. 向朋友借钱会伤害友情吗?
有一种说法非常流行:如果你把一本书借给一个朋友,你会连书带朋友都丢了。这话真是太正确了。借任何东西,特别是钱,会给一个人的友谊带来很大的压力,而且还常常不值得这样的痛苦。
从朋友那借钱不是个好主意,第一个理由是,如果一个人忘记还钱或者根本就不还,那么友情便可能丧失。每个人的生活都很忙,因此也容易忘记一些细节。要是一个人从朋友那借了一百元钱,他或她便很容易把这件事给忘记,或者会以为已经把钱还给了朋友,而实际上他没有这么做,这当然会给友情带来麻烦,而且朋友会不确定到底该不该要他或她还钱,因为要别人还钱可能会被认为是粗鲁的表现。
借出钱的人会一直等到他或她认为借用人已经把借钱的事忘记时,才会开口问借用人要钱,而这种情况就像上面说到的那样会令人不舒服。借出钱的人不想被迫去要人还钱,而借用人也不想被人提醒说自己还欠着债。
最后,问人借钱很不好是因为对方有可能会拒绝你的要求。例如,一个穷人和一个有钱人是朋友,穷人可能会问有钱人借钱,如果那个有钱人不想借的话,他或她便会因为要拒绝对方而陷入很为难的境地,这样就可能会对友情造成伤害。
总的来说,我认为问朋友借钱或借给朋友钱是个很不好的想法。虽然我们总认为我们的友情坚实而真诚,但在很多情况下事实并非如此。如果你确实要借钱给朋友,最好是不要期待他会还。如此对待这种情况,一个人才不会因为朋友借钱不还而感到沮丧,也才会因为对方还钱而感到惊喜。
- uncomfortable [ʌnˈkʌmfətəbəl]adj. 不舒服的
- put stress on 施加压力
- worth [wə:θ] v. 值得
- detail [diˈteil] n. 细节
- indebted [inˈdetid] adj. 负债的
- pay back 归还
- request [riˈkwest] v. 要求
- conceive [kənˈsi:v] v. 认为
- awkward [ˈɔ:kwəd] adj. 窘迫的
- treat [tri:t] v. 对待